“I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” Psalms 40:1-2 (KJV)
All my life I have been drawn to birds. My great desire was to have my own chickens and ducks. A few years ago my Mother’s Day Gift was the converting of a shed into a chicken coop. We bought baby chicks and raised them in the bath tub until they were big enough not to escape through the fence openings. We learned that just because a sign says “Pullets” you are only guaranteed that 80% of the birds are hens – we weren’t that statistically fortunate – more like 75%. If you’ve ever had to deal with territorial roosters, you will understand the importance of that.
About 8 months ago we took in a foster-adopt dog named Patches. She was over a year old and had been seriously injured on a number of occasions by other dogs. At first she would just lay on the floor for hours, not moving. The vet recognized that she had an eye problem where the lid of her eyes would turn all the way inside, causing large sores on her eyeballs. After her eye surgery she took on a whole new hyperactive personality. We grew to love her and her silliness very much.
A few days ago I was heading out to put the dogs in the house and let the chickens and ducks out of the coop and pen to wander the yard and eat their fill of bugs – but something was wrong. On the back porch lay one of my little banty hens, dead. I looked toward the pen – Patches was inside.
I ran as fast as I could to get her out and protect my little flock – but what I saw completely devastated me. All 3 ducks were dead. 7 hens were dead. 2 hens were horribly mutilated but breathing. One rooster was mildly hurt.
How could this happen? We so carefully built the coop and pen to keep out predators, but our own dog got in. On the side of the pen was a hole about 12” wide that she had ripped with her teeth.
We latched down all the coop doors and blocked the hole – but she went back in several times. The other 2 hens died that night, only the rooster remained. We thought we had the pen secure again and I opened the little door from the coop to the pen, so the rooster could walk around. He wasn’t much interested in venturing. He was still so scared.
I checked on him every few hours to see how he was doing, and on one trip found a duck egg in the corner. I took it in the house, washed it and opened the egg carton to put it away – every egg in the carton was cracked open, somehow they had frozen on the top shelf of the fridge. Overwhelming grief struck me. All but one of my chicks and ducks were dead. All of their eggs were destroyed. It was as if God was erasing a section of my life.
That night I kept hearing noises and kept checking the coop. At about 2am I finally fell asleep. At about 4am I woke again – the dog was back in the coop and had mangled the rooster after ripping a 3’ wide hole in the fence. The rooster lived until late in the day. We took the dog to a foster agency that morning, being sure to tell them that she should not be placed in a home with any kind of birds. I could no longer trust her and knew I could not keep her inside either as I have a large collection of domestic birds.
I was filled with pain. I could not understand what had just happened. I had lost all 13 of my flock and I had lost a dog I loved. Even the broken eggs in the ‘fridge seemed to be a message. I was so overwhelmed with grief and cried out to God “Why?”
I pray over my home and animals every day. I pray over the land and the safety of everything on it. I stand in faith believing that when I pray, my prayers are heard and honored. I couldn’t understand why my God would allow this.
I prayed and cried for hours – until I heard God’s voice. “Have you seen my servant Job?” What? Was this merely a trial?
“But God I prayed.” Job prayed and even sacrificed for each of his children so that they would be pure before God as they did not live holy lives.
“But God, you said if I prayed believing . . .?” Job said that God gives us all, and He can take it all away (Job 1:5, 1:8 & 1:21).
God and I spent a lot of time together that day. I was so confused and hurt; He was patient. I was angry; He was loving. I finally said “God, if this was Your will, please take the hurt away and give me peace.”
A soft cloud of peace wrapped me like a blanket. The pain slipped quietly from my heart and I felt such comfort.
I don’t understand why we are given such trials of faith. I don’t know why some things have to be so hard. But I know that when we cry out to God, He is there to bring comfort and peace.
I’m already planning my new flock. This time we’ll use heavier gauge fencing. I will still pray over them every day. I will still trust in those prayers. And, if God allows me to be tested again, I will cry out again for peace – knowing in Who’s hands it rests.
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NOTE: Since this piece I have raised several flocks of chickens and ducks. It is such a blessing to see them roam around and enjoy life.
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Written 7-5-07
Tags: Birth, Blessings, Chickens, Death, Dog, Ducks, Heartbroken, Job, Life, Peace, Tears, Trials, Why
Linda J. Humes 