Tag Archives: Hope

DEPRESSION

8 Sep

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.     Psalms 42:5-6 (KJV)

Depression started for me in my early teens. It is a dark consuming pain – beyond tears and hope. It is the feeling of helplessness – no control over any portion of your life, not your thoughts, your appetite, not even your emotions. It is difficult to focus, it is difficult to breathe. It is Satan’s greatest tool to stop God’s children from striving.

When I became a Christian my battle with depression ceased for a long time. I quit my well-paying, secure job and went into full-time ministry. What a delightful and faith-testing time. I dove head first into Biblical study and worship music (playing and singing). I think that God allowed me this peaceful time to build the strong foundation of faith that I was going to need to stand during the trials and storms of the future.

Challenges came – life changing events and situations that threatened to destroy our family and our faith – but we stood. Each time we grew stronger. The Depression there, but not consuming as it had been in the past, until recently.

For all the times we’ve faced life’s challenges in the past, this year has been a series of events that far surpassed anything we could have anticipated. I looked at our circumstances, I looked at our resources, I took my eyes off of our true Source – the darkness overtook me.

Well meaning friends offered words they thought would encourage – but cut like a knife. “If you have Jesus in your heart, you will never be without peace.” “If you have faith in Jesus you wouldn’t be depressed.” I guess they haven’t read passages in Psalm, Ecclesiastes or Job! Some of our greatest Bible leaders suffered terrible depression and wrote as they cried out to God.

I have a good friend and pastor who once told me that Depression was anger turned inward. I agree. You realize how little control you have over problems and situations and feel so helpless at your own inabilities; you turn inward.

I remember crying out to God for hours to help me get out of the dark hollowness. When I went into deep worship my darkness lifted. I asked God why He allowed me to go so deep into despair, why He wasn’t there with me. He showed me how He had been right next to me all the time, reaching a hand down to pull me up, waiting for me to reach back. He showed me where His hand had been moving on the situations all the time. I was able to see the miracles blooming all around. I could see His teardrops on my shoulder when He cried with me in my pain.

King David said that God taught our hands to war and our fingers to fight – I war with the enemy of our soul with my pen and paper. I will war for King Jesus – and hope my words will help others overcome the darkness that overcomes even the strongest saint. God, hold me ever near that I may never loose sight of You and who You are. I know You will always stand with me – and cry with me in my pain. Keep my mind set on you that I might never slip again into that pit.

 

 

Written 6-24-2008

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WHEN GREAT MEN FALL 

5 Aug

  

“And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.”  Mark 9:42 (KJV) 

    

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive,” Sir Walter Scott. 

  Heartbreaking.  Lives destroyed, families lost, everything gone.  How many times does the news report on the fall of great men?  Cities, states, and countries crumble with the fall of corrupt political leaders.  Companies close with the fall of unscrupulous officers.  Most devastating are the falls of pastors, evangelists or great religious leaders – taking down the faith and confidence of their congregations or followers.  Churches split, people walk away from the very beliefs that they drew strength from, never to return.  People become lost. 

  Falling men don’t have to be leaders, celebrities, pastors or figures of authority to cause the lives of others to be affected and destroyed.  Any man who has made a lifelong commitment to touching the lives of others, however big or small, can be the reason others lose their faith and trust in men.  A husband who chooses to quit work and leaves the responsibilities of caring for his family to his wife – as he sits and watches TV all day or plays for hours on the computer.  It could be a father who drowns his disappointments with drugs or alcohol, leaving his children and wife to fend for themselves.  It could be a good friend who betrays that friendship with deception and lies.  It could be a mentor who falls to temptation, either destroying the lives he’s dedicating to help grown strong or turning away from them at a critical moment in their lives, leaving them alone and afraid.  It could be a school teacher or a Bible study teacher.  How do you think they will feel about men in general when the very man who God placed in their lives to love and protect them causes them hurt and pain? 

  Truths turn to lies.  Laughter turns to tears.  Hope turns to despair. Trust turns to disappointment and distance.  Friendships are disrupted and not sought out again.  Families destroyed.  Strong futures lay ruin.  What happened?  How did temptation and pride override common sense and a strong moral system and lay waste the promises of a strong and fruitful life?  Lust.  Greed.  Pride.  Addictions.  Lasciviousness. 

  “Never happen to me,” you say?  What did they say not long ago?  “Not me” . . . “I would never” . . . so easy to say, and an open invitation for the enemy of our soul to take the challenge to find that weakness and chip away at it. 

  It is never a sudden decision, usually a little give and take over a period of time.  Things that were once so black and white become less definitive.  Priorities change.  Family and friends loose importance.  Everyone else in their world becomes collateral damage. 

  Can the fallen be restored?  Of course, if they have the desire.  Restoration can only come through a humble heart and a deep relationship through Jesus.  All other attempts are just vanities – a vapor in the wind – without substance. 

  The real question is, can they restore all those whose lives were damaged and changed because of the fall.  Can trust ever be completely returned to the hearts of all who know them?  I don’t think so.  Those lives have blown away like sand in the wind – you may be able to collect some of them back, maybe even most of them – but so many will be lost forever to the hurt that can only be healed through Jesus. 

  Dear Lord, let me always remember that my words and actions are being watched by far more people than I could ever imagine.  Help me to understand that if I should ever fall, I would be responsible for every person that may stray from you because of my actions.  Help me to always remain humble.  In Your Precious Name.  Amen.

 

Written 2-23-09

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The Fire Within

30 Oct

“Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the LORD descended on it in fire. The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace, and the whole mountain trembled violently.”   Exodus 19:18 NIV

My wood burning stove and I have a love-hate relationship.  When it is cooperating I love it; wonderful dry warmth.  However, when I don’t have the fire building components right, it becomes the subject of several hours of frustration. The Fire Triangle represents the 3 simple components that ensure continued combustion, or a nice warm fire.  The components consist of flame, oxygen and a continued source of fuel.  Ah, fuel!!  Therein lies the problem.

So, first goes in the paper, then bits of cardboard, next small branches or twigs, and then split log on top.  The perfect building blocks for a solid fire . . . except that the split logs wouldn’t burn.  At the onset of cold weather we’d had many dry months; the wood was dry and easy to start.  Then came several tropical storms, and although the wood wasn’t openly in the rain, the ends became damp and the wood absorbed the thick humidity hanging in the air.

I would start up a fire, watch it flare and roar, close the door, set the flue, and walk away.  Within a few minutes I would realize that the fire had gone completely out.  The fire had consumed all of the viable fuel, but the damp split logs were not viable.

I added more paper, cardboard and twigs, encourage the flames with the billows, would get it roaring, and then close the door.  Once again it went out.  This repeated over and over again, often for hours.  Each time the split log would get a little drier and start to smolder in spots.  After many, many starts the log would finally get dry enough to actually ignite and burn.

I started thinking about how much that sounded like the journeys of our faith?  We start out with hearts on fire and great expectations, but our components aren’t complete.  We need the daily building of the Word inside to keep the fire of the Holy Spirit burning brightly.  We need encouragers, teachers and mentors to build our foundation.  What we allow to come into our lives, our eyes, our ears, our mind, can absorb into that foundation and dampen our spirits, causing our fire to smolder or go completely out.

With my wood burning stove I have discovered that I have the best results in starting a new fire if I never to allow the embers of the previous fire to go completely cold.  Tossing a small branch in the stove and closing down the flue will allow the embers to smolder underneath the soft ashes for many hours.  When it is time for the new fire, I only need to remove the ash and set the new split log onto the embers.  The embers will dry the wood and ignite the log after a period of time.  The firefighters talk about this phenomena, it’s called a “flare up.”  Flare up is very dangerous in campfires and forest fires, but it is not dangerous in my fireplace – and it is absolutely not dangerous in my faith.

Do you feel as if you have spiritually grown cold?  Do you feel that the faith you once had has left you in the aftermath of testing and trials?  God tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6), and that His Spirit will consume us, fill us and guide us as we allow it (Hebrews 12:29).  He’s right there under the ash of burned away days, traveled roads and deep disappointments; a burning ember waiting to rekindle the faith we so desire.  Rebuild your foundation.  Reignite through prayer and study.  Your flame will draw many.

 

Written 10-28-18

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The Day The Angels Cried – Reposting

11 Sep

Twin Towers 9-11-2001

 

“And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: [30] And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. [31] And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”           Mark 12:29-31

September 11th, 2001 will be one of those dates that no one will forget. It has engraved its importance upon our spirits and hangs heavy in our memory. September 11th, 2001 was the day the angels cried.

No one will forget the horror of the airplanes bursting through the tower walls of the world trade center, or the empty helplessness of watching the men and women falling the 80 to 90 stories to the ground. We felt hope as we watched the fire, police and rescue personnel head into the chaos and devastation when the towers swallowed them up.

When we saw the 110-story towers implode and disintegrate into powdery dust, dust made from concrete and glass, snowing down in a suffocating blizzard, we were there. Who the dust covered people were wasn’t important. The race, creed or color of the person wasn’t important. They were life – that was important. They were family – brothers and sisters who’s names we may never know, who’s stories we may never hear, but they were family – tied to us by the horror of the breach of freedom we so generously share.

America. A country so tender that we sat for hours glued to a TV screen and prayed, encouraged and cheered when rescue workers freed baby Jessica McClure from an abandoned well. A country so generous that we open our arms to the thousands of immigrants who cross our borders every year – providing them food, shelter, medical care and education. A country so strong that after wars and conflicts, we have been able to return home and raise our families with humility and a sense of forgiveness and peace. A blessed country, graciously blessing others. A country betrayed.

America. The tenderness and generosity grievously stunned by such a horrific act. America. Attacked strategically to destroy our economy and military intelligence – but rising up to recognize that in the moments of tragedy only one thing mattered – life and the preservation of it.

Helplessly scattered across the nation, we reached out with truckloads of food, clothing and medical supplies. We donated money from our household budgets to send to the Red Cross and Salvation Army who tended the victims and the rescue workers. We stood hours in line to give blood to send to the hospitals near ground zero. We mourn the deaths, rejoice with the miracles, encourage the jobless – and we pray. When we could do no more, we sat and watched the live news, for hours, days, weeks, and prayed; even still – we pray.

The probability of life in the wreckage is no longer. The fires that have burned in the stories of the crushed building for weeks send eerie symbolism of the bowels of Hell. Satan came down to destroy a country built on the premise of the Bible and dedicated to God, but he failed. What Satan has done to destroy America, God has turned around and created a new and wonderful understanding of what America is. God brought back to us the very foundations that this country was birthed on. God united the people and told the world that we are ONE. One people, one race, one color, one family – one AMERICA.

We will never forget the thousands entombed in the death of that majestic building – just as we have never forgotten the sailors entombed in the USS Arizona. In time we will forgive the misguided souls that did this – but we will never forget. Life will go on with some changes, but nothing that we, as individuals and as a nation, cannot overcome.

Since that day, the American people have been a little quieter; introspective. Mothers and fathers hold their children a little closer, holding their hands when they’re in public. Trivial things don’t matter any more. People don’t squabble in line at the grocery stores. Traffic is reduced, only traveling if necessary. The malls, restaurants and theatres are nearly empty where they used to be overflowing. People work less hours and spend more time with their families. We have become more aware of the treasures of life, and less caught up in the luxury available. We have re-established contact with distant family and old friends. Families are going back to church and re-establishing their relationship with their creator. People are more aware of the things around them and how very precious they are.

Satan took away the lives of 6000+ members of our family – and God showed us the way back to the true meaning of life. America – the land of the free, the home of the brave – family bound together by God. Victorious.

Many families now are seeing their children off to a war in a land where life has no meaning. A land where poverty is overwhelming and need is so great. A land where one man has orchestrated a gross evil that has marred their world. Some of our families are sending their children to an ultimate sacrifice, to ensure that our country is once again safe.

Jesus, grant us the grace to see you at every turn, no matter what the daily outcome seems. Jesus, build our faith with each passing moment. And Jesus, give us the strength to forgive, and the power to overcome.

 

10-13-2001

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A Prayer For My Children

29 Dec

 

mother-praying

My Children.  You are my breath and depth of life.  You help me find joy in darkness and peace in chaos.  My day starts with prayers for you, continues with prayers for you, and ends with prayers for you.  You are each so different, in your own quirky ways, and yet so alike in your humility and compassion.  I could not be prouder.  God blessed me and trusted me with your lives, and for that I will be forever thankful.

I pray that in each day you will see and receive Hope in every situation.  Hope for today, Hope for tomorrow, Hope for eternity.  And in those moments, I pray that you will reach out to help another find Hope in their circumstances, for in giving Hope, your Hope will grow brighter.  “Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.” Romans 15:13

I pray that every day you will receive Grace for every situation, and in return, you will give Grace to those who have come short of your expectations.  Grace allows people to err and yet be restored once again for any inabilities or lack of judgment in their lives.  Grace is our greatest gift from God.  For through all of our failures He continues to love us and encourage us, and for that our lives are richer.  “By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”  Romans 5:2

I pray that each and every day you will receive Mercy, and in return, you will give Mercy to each and every person, animal and situation you encounter.  Mercy is the very compassion that we receive, no matter our circumstances or what brought us to those circumstances.  With Mercy we see the soul inside of another that may be hidden deep within a hardened exterior, and forgive the trespass.  “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”  Matthew 5:7

I pray that Joy will infuse your life so fully that it overflows into the paths of everyone you meet, and captures them in the moment, permeating them for their lifetime.  I pray that it will overflow your every action, every word, every step and every essence of your being.  I pray that the very Joy within you shines so contagiously that it doubles back and reinfects you over and over again.  “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.”  John 15:11

I pray that in all things you will receive the gift Patience from others, and in turn, you will give the gift of Patience to those struggling to figure things out in this life.  More than others, I pray that you will grant Patience to yourself when you are trying and trying to figure out a life lesson and have failed at it over and over again.  Patience can seem quite small at times, but most of the time it stretches every muscle and sinew inside of us, putting us on the edge of frustration and anger.  Realize that you are not, and never will be a perfect human being and you have permission to fail, many times, in many areas.  As long as you are Patient and continue to try, you will never be a failure.  “But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”  James 1:4

I pray that people will always show you Kindness, and you will honor that gift by showing Kindness to others.  Kindness is stepping back and recognizing that everyone has difficult days and it can all be turned around by a simple smile, an offered hand, an opened door, or a simple gift.  Kindness embraces sympathy and empathy, without requirement of return.  Kindness does not have to cost anything more than a moment in time, and we have a lot of those to share.  “For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the LORD endureth for ever. Praise ye the LORD.”  Psalm 117:2

I pray that you will be surrounded by Goodness, and that in that loving atmosphere, you will show and lead others into Goodness in all that they do.  Respect follows goodness and paves the way for all good things.  Goodness always receives ultimate favor among men, cherish it.  “As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”  Galatians 6:10

I pray that your life will be surrounded by people of Faithfulness and that you will find and live in Faithfulness all of your days.  No matter what character a man has, if he is not found faithful to his convictions, he has lost all.  Remain faithful to your beliefs, to those who surround you, and most importantly, to God.  “It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:22-23

I pray that as you walk through your life you will be treated with Gentleness, and in return you will treat other people, animals and situations with Gentleness.  No matter how big, strong, smart or creative you are, Gentleness is a gift that cannot be ignored.  Gentleness can turn the heart of the most hostile around in a moment’s time.  Gentleness can defuse anger, bring confidence, turn tears to determination, and give another the courage to continue.  “To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.” Titus 3:2-3

I pray that you will recognize the strength inside yourself, and that your strength will give you the confidence to maintain Self-Control.  So many things in life can drastically change in one moment of lost Self-Control, things that cannot be recovered, things that cannot be fixed, things that are forever lost.  I pray that your courage in exhibiting your Self-Control will give others the strength and inclination to maintain their Self-Control.  You will be an example to all around you, whether you recognize it or not, and your choices will help others in making their choices, good or bad.  I pray that you will always choose wisely.  (Self-Control – The virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites).  “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance (self-control); and to temperance (self-control) patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  2 Peter 1:5-8

 I pray that you will always walk in the presence of Peace, Peace that surpasses all understanding.  Peace that allows you to stand strong in the challenge of fear, in the heat of angry men, in times of eminent danger, in the absence of understanding and the face of the unknown.  May Peace overwhelm you and cover you with a shield so graceful, so dense, so all encompassing, that nothing can penetrate it.  It will be your defense in the face of all odds.  “Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us, To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”  Luke 1:78-79

Most of all I pray that you will always feel and receive Love.  Love is the very center of every person’s being.  Love is a feeling that cannot be explained with words.  Love is a presence that cannot be shown with actions.  Love is something so deep that it can only be experienced.  Love can be a feeling between friends, spouses, animals, nature, and the entire environment around you, but it can also be something inside that is very personal between you and God that no one else can share.  Love is the very foundation of who you are.  Love is your integrity.  Love is your humility.  Love is your sun and moon and stars.  Love is your very breath.  Love brings you to tears at the sound of music or the sight of a child.  Love turns giants into gentlemen and weaklings into giants.  Love makes us go farther that we ever expected we could or would.  Love boasts pride and breaks hearts.  Love is the greatest gift to mankind by our most wonderful God.  I pray that you will never try to harness your Love.  I pray that you will always let Love guide you and set your path, for by Love, your path will always be straight.  I pray that your Love will be strong.  I pray that your Love will be deep. I pray that you will always remember the source of your Love and will praise God for that precious gift.  “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and Love—and the greatest of these is Love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13     “And we have known and believed the Love that God hath to us. God is Love; and he that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”  1 John 4:16

This is my prayer for you.  I thank God every day for giving me the honor of being your mother.  I speak these words over you, and through you, with deep conviction, knowing that the God who created this universe hears every word and answers my prayers with His most gracious wisdom.  Never forget who you are or the difference you were called into this world to make.  God Bless You.

 

12-29-2016

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There You Are Jesus!

19 Jul

Look up to Heaven - Universal Church of the Kingdom of God

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

What happens when innocence is lost?  Like a fresh new flower, ripped from the plant, first we wilt, then harden, then we crumble and are blown away.

I love movies, especially children’s movies.  One of my favorite is Peter Pan, the version where Robin Williams plays Peter.  At the beginning of the movie, he doesn’t realize that he’s Peter.  He’s lost his innocence.  He’d lost touch with what things in life are truly important.  He believes the tale of Peter Pan is something made up and passed down in stories from generation to generation.

Movies, as they are, overlook the logical (that’s what I love about them) and Robin Williams ends up in Neverland with the Lost Boys.  The Lost Boys try desperately to convince him of who he is and teach him how to be a child again.  Everything in Neverland is completely dependent upon imagination.  They wouldn’t even have food, drink or sustenance without a good, active imagination.

The Lost Boys are finally successful at helping Peter find his innocence again and let go of the stresses and frustrations of schedules, bills and responsibilities of the real world.  At one point in the movie, one of the Lost Boys walks up to Robin Williams, looks deep into his eyes and says, “Oh, there you are Peter.”  A revelation of innocence returned.

This sequence always reminds me of my Christian faith.  So many times we’re caught up in the stress and frustrations of schedules and appointments and trying to please so many in so little time, that we loose the miracle and the innocence of working in ministry.  Our innocence is dependent upon our faith.  Sometimes we allow the enemy to convince us that by striving we work the good work, when in fact, it is by faith and the leading of the Holy Spirit that we accomplish everything that God has called us to do; without the loss of innocence.

I look hopefully to the time when I can casually enjoy all of those around me, without worrying about where I should be, lest I fall behind (again!!).  I look forward to the day when I will be filled with faith to the point of complete peace and serenity.  When someone, perhaps a child, will look deep into my eyes and say, “Oh, there you are Jesus.”  When the Jesus in me will shine past my many earthly flaws.

Jesus, may I always hear and obey your voice.  That the innocence, birthed in faith, will always be the most obvious attribute in my life.

** Moments With The Master

By Linda J. Humes

Written 7/16/2000

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HOPE

18 Jul

Hopeless child

“Now hope is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

I knew what I wanted to be from the age of 3.  Every year it changed, sometimes every month.  I had big elaborate dreams and overwhelming visions.  Some came to pass, some I let go with maturity – but I would never have been able to accomplish anything in life if I hadn’t had those dreams built on hope.

I worked in an inner-city school and had gathered a small group of children together for a state standards test.  These were the students that had been absent on the regular testing day and had to make-up the test.  One little boy, 3rd grade, 8-year-old, captured my heart.  This boy whizzed through the math, flew through the language, but when the time came for writing he sat, not moving, eyes firmly fixed on his paper.

The test allowed 45 minutes for this section.  After 30 minutes all of the other students were gone and he sat alone, staring.  When I reminded him of the time, tears began to well up in his eyes.  I asked if he had ideas of what he could write.  He shook his head “no.”  I suggested his favorite person, a hero – he didn’t have one.  What about what he wanted to be when he grew up – he didn’t know.

President?  “No.”

Astronaut?  “No.”

Movie Star?  “No.”

Sports Star?  “No.”

I suggested he write about fun times with his Mom – he did not have a memory of a fun time with his Mom. Special times spent with his Dad – he never had a special time with his Dad.  Fun or silly things he did with his pets – didn’t have a pet, never did.  A sports game he’d gone to – never been to one.  A vacation – never been on one.

With each suggestion his shoulders stooped a little farther until he almost lay on his paper.  A moment later he began to sob.  I tried to comfort him, letting him know that it was only a test and that there were no right or wrong essays, it was just his thoughts he needed to write down – it didn’t help.  I finally told him to just write who he was and that he couldn’t think of anything to write – and I silently prayed that his sentence would be long enough for them to grade.

He handed me his paper and pencil and slowly left to go back to his regular classroom, wiping his eyes and composing himself as he went.  I felt as broken as he.  I was angry with the culture.  I was angry with the school.  I was angry with the parents.  I was angry with the whole system, a system that allows 8-year-old boys to “survive” day to day in a difficult inner-city world with no hope for tomorrow.  With a culture where two parents with a limited education struggle to make a home and feed a family, but have no time to nurture the hopes and dreams inside the children.

What has happened to our culture when our children have no hope for tomorrow?  Where, Jesus, do we start?  How, Lord do we begin to show the children the very love of God that builds the hope and dreams they deserve – when God isn’t allowed in the schools?  How, Jesus, do we place into an 8-year-old child a dream to be the President, an astronaut, to be a parent and raise a family – a desire to LIVE for tomorrow?

Lord Jesus, forgive us our sins of not seeing those, most precious in your sight, laying waste in a life of “getting by.”

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Faces of Hopelessness

11 Jul

Inmates Praying

For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.  Galatians 5:5 (KJV)

At Christmas our ministry sends Christmas cards to the 100+ active inmates and the many released inmates and families.  Arizona Department of Corrections moves inmates frequently between yards and has recently made the decision not to forward mail to inmates that have been moved to different yards.  Thankfully, ADOC provides an inmate database for friends and families to monitor their loved ones.

When I receive the cards back I pull out my spreadsheet and mark moves and releases.  Making these changes started out to be fairly mechanical, but it didn’t finish that way.  Not at all.

Each time I pulled up an inmate’s page a photo displayed haunting photos.  Picture after picture displayed; angry and aggressive pictures, pictures of men with eyes swollen shut, stitches, lips split; and pictures of men who eyes said:

“How did I get here?”

“What do I do?”

“I’m scared.”

“Help me!”

They were the faces of hopelessness.  Faces wondering if anyone cared, if anyone saw, if anyone heard.

I have always prayed over every card and letter sent to these inmates, praying that Jesus would hold them, draw them close, give them peace.  Jesus, the only answer in a place of fear and hopelessness, the only peace when there is confusion and insanity all around.

Every inmate was sent a Bible, and if they wanted, several study books to learn more about Jesus.  Several of the inmates started “God Squads” in their pods to encourage, learn and find hope.  A little light in the darkness.  A little hope to displace the hopelessness.

Lord, let me always speak Your words when writing to your children, that they will always see and hear You in the worse of circumstances.  Amen.

By Linda J. Humes
Written 12/29/2009
**The Road To Emmaus”

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WAX MUSEUM

7 Oct

wax-museum-welcome-sign1

(THE EYES OF THE HOPELESSLY DEAD)

 The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness.                                                                                   Luke 11:34

Vacations are interesting entities.  They are times when you spend money you know better than to spend and visit places that you may have only had a vague interest in previously.

In our family, vacations are a valued commodity that arrive only once every 3 – 4 years.  It’s a time when we have saved and set aside so that we can travel off for a day or two and leave everything behind for someone else to care for.  This year was our year of VACATION – August 1999!!

We had been given our hotel room as a gift and part of that gift included tickets to the Movieland Wax Museum.  None of us had ever been to a wax museum – however, none of us had ever really been over-enthusiastic about going either.  But, it was vacation!  A time to see something new!  A time to . . . well, you know.

At first, I was intrigued by the replicas; life-size dolls, the exact size of a famous movie star, wearing the original costume from a movie or an article of clothing from the movie star’s personal wardrobe – or so they claim.

The tour began with the older movies.  What took me by surprise was the size of the stars.  The women were so tiny, petite (to compensate for the 20 extra pounds the camera add, I suspect).  Jean Harlow, Bette Davis, Kathryn Hepburn – all movie greats, up close and personal.

Then there were the men.  Characters that loomed so large on the screen were trim young men, not much taller than myself.  The illusion of grandeur diminished.  The overwhelming feeling of awe was reduced.  They were just people.  People who struggled with self-esteem and the pressures of fame.  People, just like me, who tried to juggle work and family and (prayerfully) devotions.

As I continued the tour I recognized depression setting over me.  Why, Lord?  What are you showing me that I can’t see?

“Look at them,” He said, “carefully.”

I began to look into the faces – past the aging clothing, the dusty sets, the fading make-up, and a few missing fingers.  I stood in one spot and turned a full circle, looking carefully into the eyes of the replicas.

“There’s nothing, Lord, nothing!”

And that was it!  Deep in the eyes was the absence of the soul.  They were exact replicas of the bodies of men – void of love, hate, joy, dreams and visions.  It was a morgue of dead bodies, dressed up to entertain people.

I walked through the “horror” section and felt nothing.  Even with the sound tracks playing in the background of some of the sets, there was nothing.  The eyes were dead and blank.  There were no demons, no tormented souls, no hate, no raging insanity.  They were the eyes of the hopelessly dead.

After leaving the museum I searched the face of every person I saw.  The daily anguish, joy and stresses were there.  It slowly relieved my depression.  It gave me new hope and a fresh battleground.  For in the tormented eyes there is hope for salvation.  In joy there is peace and encouragement for tomorrow.

No matter what the tormented soul is screaming out through the eyes – as long as there is life, there is an opportunity for Jesus to enter in.

Lord, let me always remember that every face I see could belong to a soul of little time.  Give me the courage to change the demons that dance in those eyes, before they become the eyes of the hopelessly dead.

 

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THE WASHERWOMAN IN THE PALACE OF THE KING

12 Jan

Washer Woman

“And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”  Romans 5:5

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It was a time of rejoicing – the King has returned and all had come together to celebrate.  The house was trimmed in Scarlet and Blue and most glorious Purples.  The Golden goblet was set, preparing for the finest Wine.

As the sky drew dim the people came – in beautiful raiment.  Their joy shown clearly – their love so pure.  In beautiful gowns the women danced – jewels sparkled all about – and from a distance the washerwoman watched.

She wondered how it felt to be so beautiful.  She wondered what it was like to feel such joy.  And as she watched each beautiful woman dance with the King, she wondered what it was like to feel such love.

Back she stepped, so as not to be seen, how could she chance to be seen in her rags and covering scarf.  Yet she dared to desire to belong.

She cherished the moments she cleaned for the King.  Did He know she prayed as she cleansed His garments?  Did He know that she treasured the brief moments when they shared a word?

So back she stepped, into the shadows – swaying with the music, drinking in the joy that danced around the room.  Careful, oh so careful, so not to be seen, she raised her hand up to the missing hand, and placed her arm around the missing waist as she moved slowly around the shadows.

Then a breeze passed by and a tender word touched her ear.  Opening her eyes she saw her King before her, at the edge of the shadows.  Bowing down she humbly and quietly spoke, “Yes, My King, your servant waits.”

Speaking not He reached down, taking her rough red hand in His.  Gently He pulled her up, placing His arm around her ragged dress and together they danced from the shadows to the light.

As the music stopped He kissed her hand and thanked her for her love and the beauty she presented every day.  And at that moment she knew herself what it was like to feel beautiful, what it was like to feel joy, and how wonderful it felt to be loved.

For SHE was the washerwoman in the Palace of the KING!

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