Tag Archives: Testing

YOU’RE THERE

23 Sep

 

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:  And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.   1 Kings 19:11-12 (KJV)

 

I can't hear You, Lord,

I can't hear You today.

Just a quiet whispering;

A rustling.



There was a day when we walked together, 

Talked together,

Closest friends.



Your words were loud and sure,

I knew Your will,

No doubt which path to take.

But I can't hear You, Lord,

I can't hear You today.



There were joyful times,

Times of tears,

Times of intercession,

And deepest prayers.



I felt You then,

You heard my cries and held me tight.

But I can't hear You, Lord,

I can't hear You today.



Somewhere I fell faint,

Neglected to listen,

Perhaps I disobeyed.

Or is this a testing time,

To see if I will remain,

Even in Your silence.

How will I know, Lord,

I can't hear You today.



I'll go on, as You've taught me,

I'll overcome,

Walk in joy,

Sing Your praises,

Again and again.



And when You've finished,

Testing and trying,

Pruning and purging,

Loving and lifting,

I will know.



Even in silence You are there,

Even in darkness You are there,

Even in diligent unanswered prayer,

You are there.

In Your word,

 And in the hearts of Your children.

Written 9-3-91

 

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The Fire Within

30 Oct

“Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the LORD descended on it in fire. The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace, and the whole mountain trembled violently.”   Exodus 19:18 NIV

My wood burning stove and I have a love-hate relationship.  When it is cooperating I love it; wonderful dry warmth.  However, when I don’t have the fire building components right, it becomes the subject of several hours of frustration. The Fire Triangle represents the 3 simple components that ensure continued combustion, or a nice warm fire.  The components consist of flame, oxygen and a continued source of fuel.  Ah, fuel!!  Therein lies the problem.

So, first goes in the paper, then bits of cardboard, next small branches or twigs, and then split log on top.  The perfect building blocks for a solid fire . . . except that the split logs wouldn’t burn.  At the onset of cold weather we’d had many dry months; the wood was dry and easy to start.  Then came several tropical storms, and although the wood wasn’t openly in the rain, the ends became damp and the wood absorbed the thick humidity hanging in the air.

I would start up a fire, watch it flare and roar, close the door, set the flue, and walk away.  Within a few minutes I would realize that the fire had gone completely out.  The fire had consumed all of the viable fuel, but the damp split logs were not viable.

I added more paper, cardboard and twigs, encourage the flames with the billows, would get it roaring, and then close the door.  Once again it went out.  This repeated over and over again, often for hours.  Each time the split log would get a little drier and start to smolder in spots.  After many, many starts the log would finally get dry enough to actually ignite and burn.

I started thinking about how much that sounded like the journeys of our faith?  We start out with hearts on fire and great expectations, but our components aren’t complete.  We need the daily building of the Word inside to keep the fire of the Holy Spirit burning brightly.  We need encouragers, teachers and mentors to build our foundation.  What we allow to come into our lives, our eyes, our ears, our mind, can absorb into that foundation and dampen our spirits, causing our fire to smolder or go completely out.

With my wood burning stove I have discovered that I have the best results in starting a new fire if I never to allow the embers of the previous fire to go completely cold.  Tossing a small branch in the stove and closing down the flue will allow the embers to smolder underneath the soft ashes for many hours.  When it is time for the new fire, I only need to remove the ash and set the new split log onto the embers.  The embers will dry the wood and ignite the log after a period of time.  The firefighters talk about this phenomena, it’s called a “flare up.”  Flare up is very dangerous in campfires and forest fires, but it is not dangerous in my fireplace – and it is absolutely not dangerous in my faith.

Do you feel as if you have spiritually grown cold?  Do you feel that the faith you once had has left you in the aftermath of testing and trials?  God tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6), and that His Spirit will consume us, fill us and guide us as we allow it (Hebrews 12:29).  He’s right there under the ash of burned away days, traveled roads and deep disappointments; a burning ember waiting to rekindle the faith we so desire.  Rebuild your foundation.  Reignite through prayer and study.  Your flame will draw many.

 

Written 10-28-18

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HOPE

18 Jul

Hopeless child

“Now hope is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

I knew what I wanted to be from the age of 3.  Every year it changed, sometimes every month.  I had big elaborate dreams and overwhelming visions.  Some came to pass, some I let go with maturity – but I would never have been able to accomplish anything in life if I hadn’t had those dreams built on hope.

I worked in an inner-city school and had gathered a small group of children together for a state standards test.  These were the students that had been absent on the regular testing day and had to make-up the test.  One little boy, 3rd grade, 8-year-old, captured my heart.  This boy whizzed through the math, flew through the language, but when the time came for writing he sat, not moving, eyes firmly fixed on his paper.

The test allowed 45 minutes for this section.  After 30 minutes all of the other students were gone and he sat alone, staring.  When I reminded him of the time, tears began to well up in his eyes.  I asked if he had ideas of what he could write.  He shook his head “no.”  I suggested his favorite person, a hero – he didn’t have one.  What about what he wanted to be when he grew up – he didn’t know.

President?  “No.”

Astronaut?  “No.”

Movie Star?  “No.”

Sports Star?  “No.”

I suggested he write about fun times with his Mom – he did not have a memory of a fun time with his Mom. Special times spent with his Dad – he never had a special time with his Dad.  Fun or silly things he did with his pets – didn’t have a pet, never did.  A sports game he’d gone to – never been to one.  A vacation – never been on one.

With each suggestion his shoulders stooped a little farther until he almost lay on his paper.  A moment later he began to sob.  I tried to comfort him, letting him know that it was only a test and that there were no right or wrong essays, it was just his thoughts he needed to write down – it didn’t help.  I finally told him to just write who he was and that he couldn’t think of anything to write – and I silently prayed that his sentence would be long enough for them to grade.

He handed me his paper and pencil and slowly left to go back to his regular classroom, wiping his eyes and composing himself as he went.  I felt as broken as he.  I was angry with the culture.  I was angry with the school.  I was angry with the parents.  I was angry with the whole system, a system that allows 8-year-old boys to “survive” day to day in a difficult inner-city world with no hope for tomorrow.  With a culture where two parents with a limited education struggle to make a home and feed a family, but have no time to nurture the hopes and dreams inside the children.

What has happened to our culture when our children have no hope for tomorrow?  Where, Jesus, do we start?  How, Lord do we begin to show the children the very love of God that builds the hope and dreams they deserve – when God isn’t allowed in the schools?  How, Jesus, do we place into an 8-year-old child a dream to be the President, an astronaut, to be a parent and raise a family – a desire to LIVE for tomorrow?

Lord Jesus, forgive us our sins of not seeing those, most precious in your sight, laying waste in a life of “getting by.”

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