Tag Archives: Hopelessness

ANGRY MEN

12 Mar

Angry Man Tattoos

“And in that day thou shalt say, O LORD, I will praise thee: though thou wast angry with me, thine anger is turned away, and thou comfortedst me.”      Isaiah 12:1 (KJV)

When my oldest son came home from prison a year ago he sported full arm and leg tattoos.  I knew that all tattoos have a story behind them, but I could not understand what all the faces, combined and linked together with tubes, meant.  I asked my son to explain it all to me; he said that they were angry men linked together by a lifeline.

I found myself studying the tattoos as we watched TV at night.  I didn’t see angry men, I saw something very different in each face.  I saw the artist’s inner turmoil, stirred by years in prison, coming out on a living canvas.

Some faces showed fear, some faces showed pain, some faces showed sorrow, some rage – all hopelessness.  One appeared to be a demon swallowing a child, its eyes stitched closed; childhood lost.

The tubes between seemed to be the tubes of nourishment that kept them all alive and also the chains of incarceration that prevented them from finding freedom and hope.  Years of addictions and bad choices added faces to the lines, banding them together as brothers through their lifeline tubes gave them some small amount of security.  They depended on each other not to sever the tubes that kept them all alive.  All manifested fear of possible disconnection in different ways.

When I look at the tattoos I see the inmates in prison, struggling to survive without losing their identity.  I see the artist’s renditions of the faces surrounding him every day.  I see the emotions he feels himself, flowing from his needle.  Hopelessness.  Aloneness.  Unwantedness.

The sad thing is, these emotions aren’t only an attribute of inmates, but are found in grocery stores, movie theaters, classrooms and in our own children.  The pressures of everyday life are overwhelming people to such proportions that they lose hope, fall to despair and give up on life.

How sad that we, the body of Christ, for fear of ridicule and rejection, keep back the very solution to their problems.  We hide the light given freely to us through our love of Christ.  We crimp off the true lifeline that would bring them peace, joy and hope.

What if we just took a chance?  What if we took a moment to offer prayer to someone in despair?  What if we wrapped our arms around the homeless and shared the gospel along with a hot meal and a warm jacket?  What if we comfort a crying child while the mother regains composure, and then offer to help by prayer and child care and taking them to church.

What if we stepped past our own insecurities and showed the love of Jesus to a hurting world, mentoring another as we do?  What if we could bring hope to just one?  The whole world could be changed – one person at a time.

——

By Linda J. Humes

Written 7-14-2013

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HOPE

18 Jul

Hopeless child

“Now hope is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

I knew what I wanted to be from the age of 3.  Every year it changed, sometimes every month.  I had big elaborate dreams and overwhelming visions.  Some came to pass, some I let go with maturity – but I would never have been able to accomplish anything in life if I hadn’t had those dreams built on hope.

I worked in an inner-city school and had gathered a small group of children together for a state standards test.  These were the students that had been absent on the regular testing day and had to make-up the test.  One little boy, 3rd grade, 8-year-old, captured my heart.  This boy whizzed through the math, flew through the language, but when the time came for writing he sat, not moving, eyes firmly fixed on his paper.

The test allowed 45 minutes for this section.  After 30 minutes all of the other students were gone and he sat alone, staring.  When I reminded him of the time, tears began to well up in his eyes.  I asked if he had ideas of what he could write.  He shook his head “no.”  I suggested his favorite person, a hero – he didn’t have one.  What about what he wanted to be when he grew up – he didn’t know.

President?  “No.”

Astronaut?  “No.”

Movie Star?  “No.”

Sports Star?  “No.”

I suggested he write about fun times with his Mom – he did not have a memory of a fun time with his Mom. Special times spent with his Dad – he never had a special time with his Dad.  Fun or silly things he did with his pets – didn’t have a pet, never did.  A sports game he’d gone to – never been to one.  A vacation – never been on one.

With each suggestion his shoulders stooped a little farther until he almost lay on his paper.  A moment later he began to sob.  I tried to comfort him, letting him know that it was only a test and that there were no right or wrong essays, it was just his thoughts he needed to write down – it didn’t help.  I finally told him to just write who he was and that he couldn’t think of anything to write – and I silently prayed that his sentence would be long enough for them to grade.

He handed me his paper and pencil and slowly left to go back to his regular classroom, wiping his eyes and composing himself as he went.  I felt as broken as he.  I was angry with the culture.  I was angry with the school.  I was angry with the parents.  I was angry with the whole system, a system that allows 8-year-old boys to “survive” day to day in a difficult inner-city world with no hope for tomorrow.  With a culture where two parents with a limited education struggle to make a home and feed a family, but have no time to nurture the hopes and dreams inside the children.

What has happened to our culture when our children have no hope for tomorrow?  Where, Jesus, do we start?  How, Lord do we begin to show the children the very love of God that builds the hope and dreams they deserve – when God isn’t allowed in the schools?  How, Jesus, do we place into an 8-year-old child a dream to be the President, an astronaut, to be a parent and raise a family – a desire to LIVE for tomorrow?

Lord Jesus, forgive us our sins of not seeing those, most precious in your sight, laying waste in a life of “getting by.”

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Faces of Hopelessness

11 Jul

 

Inmates Praying

For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.  Galatians 5:5 (KJV)

At Christmas our ministry sends Christmas cards to the 100+ active inmates and the many released inmates and families.  Arizona Department of Corrections moves inmates frequently between yards and has recently made the decision not to forward mail to inmates that have been moved to different yards.  Thankfully, ADOC provides an inmate database for friends and families to monitor their loved ones.

When I receive the cards back I pull out my spreadsheet and mark moves and releases.  Making these changes started out to be fairly mechanical, but it didn’t finish that way.  Not at all.

Each time I pulled up an inmate’s page a photo displayed haunting photos.  Picture after picture displayed; angry and aggressive pictures, pictures of men with eyes swollen shut, stitches, lips split; and pictures of men who eyes said:

“How did I get here?”

“What do I do?”

“I’m scared.”

“Help me!”

They were the faces of hopelessness.  Faces wondering if anyone cared, if anyone saw, if anyone heard.

I have always prayed over every card and letter sent to these inmates, praying that Jesus would hold them, draw them close, give them peace.  Jesus, the only answer in a place of fear and hopelessness, the only peace when there is confusion and insanity all around.

Every inmate was sent a Bible, and if they wanted, several study books to learn more about Jesus.  Several of the inmates started “God Squads” in their pods to encourage, learn and find hope.  A little light in the darkness.  A little hope to displace the hopelessness.

Lord, let me always speak Your words when writing to your children, that they will always see and hear You in the worse of circumstances.  Amen.

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