Tag Archives: Pain

FEAR NOT

13 Apr

“And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.” Luke 1:30

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In the bosom of innocence lay a mighty seed,

Kissed by Deity,

Torn from the safety of Heaven,

Planted by the hand of God.

—

Fear not, Mary, for within you rises a mighty nation,

Within you rests the end of death,

The keys to life.

—

Ten tiny fingers, ten little toes,

A mind that reads the multitudes,

A soul absent of sin.

—

Innocence bearing innocence,

Purity rising forth,

In humble servitude.

—

Fear not, Mary,

For the walk of faith,

The sacrifices to come,

Will be met with Grace,

Sent from the Father above.

—

Fear not for the pain so deep,

That only a mother could know,

That only a mother could bear.

—

Fear not for that one small child,

Held up by the arms of the father,

Given back to God.

—

Fear not, Mary, for the blood to be shed,

For the wooden tree,

That holds Him up to God,

In a mocking, cynical taunt.

—

Fear not, Mary,

For the tears and confusions of the day,

Make way for the joy of the risen savior,

Untouched by death,

Sitting at the right hand of the Father.

—

Rejoice, Mary, for the precious times,

You held Him close,

For the pride you felt,

As He touched the crowds.

—

Rejoice, Mary,

That for all His attempts,

Satan was bruised,

And banished,

To rule the dead.

—

Rejoice, Mary,

For the precious Grace,

That met your need,

And the needs of the generations,

Because of the innocence sacrificed,

To the hand of God.

—

Written 6/18/98

By Linda J Humes

 

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WHICH SIDE

17 Sep

He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad. Matthew 12:30 KJV

✝

When tempests boil and turn,

This way and that,

Uprooting all you find sacred,

All you find worthy –

On which side of the cross do you rest?

✝

When your thoughts are so strained,

Facts threaten your hope,

Doubts threaten your faith –

On which side of the cross do you rest?

✝

When your family and friends,

Dwell on sorrows and pain,

Straining joy,

Stretching joy,

Quenching joy –

On which side of the cross do you rest?

✝

When you’ve let promise down,

To the ones that you love,

To yourself,

To your dreams –

On which side of the cross do you rest?

✝

Do you curse and cry out,

Blaming God in the dusk,

Screaming “why” in self-pity,

In pride?

✝

Or do you lay yourself down,

At the foot of the cross,

And rest in His promise,

His love?

✝

Written 6-20-1998

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SACRIFICE

16 Sep

“By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.”  Hebrews 13:15  KJV

✝

The Ancient of Days,

cast Himself to the earth,

in the form of a seed,

in the womb of a virgin.

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Subject, now, to heat and cold,

to fatigue and illness,

to prejudice and ridicule,

to suffering and pain.

✝

The Ancient of Days,

became man,

flesh, blood and Spirit;

willingly giving,

the power of deity,

for the birth of a nation.

✝

The God of Jessie,

born through the sacrifice of blood,

to become the blood sacrifice.

✝

From the promises to Adam,

to the revelation shown John,

the blood of God coursed the earth,

changing strength and direction,

at the tributary called Christ.

✝

The new stream of Christ,

fed the trees of new life,

where the roots of the old,

were washed clean.

✝

The water, most pure,

chased the stagnant pools of red,

that once rinsed man’s hands,

but touched not the soul.

✝

The water, most pure,

flowed over and cleansed,

the wounds of the past,

refreshing the hope,

of a dark, tarnished dream.

✝

The water of life,

borne from the blood,

of an innocent man,

takes sweet revenge,

on the deepest of sin.

✝

Released to be washed,

by the power of mercy,

by the treasure of grace,

it rises back up,

to the base of the cross.

✝

There, at the cross,

the blood and water,

of grace and mercy,

flows down to the earth,

as forgiven sin reaches up,

meeting at the feet of Christ.

✝

Running together they became one,

the earth shook with promise,

the sky darkened,

to reveal a new light,

and the rivers flowed,

with a new wine,

washing clean the weary souls,

of all that would reach forth,

in praise.

✝

 

 

Written 10-18-1998

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LITTLE CHILD

12 Apr

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. Luke 4:18-19

…

Huddled mass, skin and bone,

Family gone, not a home.

Alcohol, to soothe the pain,

Curb the heat, repel the rain.

…

The future looks very bleak,

Live day by day, week by week.

Need to change, don’t know how,

Need it bad, need it now.

…

Little child, deep inside,

I am here, I am light,

Come to Me,

You’ll be free.

I am Jesus.

…

Every night, fight and steal,

Need the drugs, need to deal.

Seated deep, anger hides,

Worthlessness, fear inside.

…

Drugs help forget, take you high,

Just for today, it’s gone tonight.

Have to stop, too much strife,

I want to love, I want a life.

…

Little child, deep inside,

I am here, I am light,

Come to Me,

You’ll be free.

I am Jesus.

…

Daytime I sleep, nights work the street,

Sometimes it’s okay, sometimes I’m beat.

Don’t matter to no one, no one to care,

I can’t run away, I wouldn’t dare.

…

I still have a family, ran away from that mess,

Afraid to go back, they hate me, I guess.

I want to be wanted, want someone to care,

I need arms to hold me, someone to be there.

…

Little child, deep inside,

I am here, I am light,

Come to Me,

You’ll be free.

I am Jesus

…

Work all day, sometimes nights,

Work is tough, at home we fight.

Plagued by bills, how can we pay,

Sometimes I want to run away.

…

A wife and kids, they need to be fed,

Would they do better with me dead.

I can’t hardly cope with the pressure today,

There must be something, there must be a way.

…

Little child, deep inside,

I am here, I am light,

Come to Me,

You’ll be free.

I am Jesus.

…

Home all day, kids to tend,

House to clean, clothes to mend.

Screaming and fussing, night and day,

I want out, but there’s no way.

…

Husband’s late, if he comes home at all.

Drinking and fighting, never does call.

Don’t want today, don’t want tomorrow,

There must be some way to end this sorrow.

…

Little child, deep inside,

I am here, I am light,

Come to Me,

You’ll be free.

I am Jesus.

…

When it all seems to hard,

When there seems no way out,

When it all seems so hopeless,

Lives of anger and doubt.

…

There’s one who can help you,

He’s faithful and strong.

He’s waiting to greet you,

Whatever your wrongs.

…

He is Jesus.

Written 3/17/95

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FOR GRANTED

5 Apr

…

“The Lord liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted.”  Psalm 18:46

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Have I taken you for granted, Lord?

Can You forgive me?

…

Do you understand the pain of Circumstance,

That clouds reason.

…

You patiently wait as I blame you,

For events You had nothing to do with.

…

You sing to me songs of Love,

When I feel the depths of worthlessness.

…

You send me tender arms,

When I feel unloved and unlovable.

…

You send me songs of joy,

When tears steal my night.

…

You wake me with a tender caress,

Inviting me to intimate times with You.

…

You speak into my life the words of strength,

Courage and wisdom,

As I open the pages of Your Word.

…

You fill my mouth with the tongues of Angels,

A private language that only we understand.

…

Lord, do I take you for granted?

Will you forgive me.

Written 6/15/2002

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CONFESSION

4 Apr

“For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy

unto all them that call upon thee.” Psalm 86:5

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Forgive me, Lord, for my doubts.

…

Forgive me, Lord, in my pain and fatigue,

Your voice was distant and faint,

I thought You didn’t care.

…

Forgive me, Lord, I forgot the blessings,

Of yesterday in the crisis,

Of today.

…

Forgive me, Lord, for not recognizing,

How very precious I am to You,

You showed me again and again,

Buy my self-esteem couldn’t receive it.

…

Thank you, Lord, for continually calling my name,

Calling louder and louder,

When my ears were turned away.

…

Thank you, Lord, for the friends and warriors,

That You sent to my side,

When I was to weak to fight.

…

Thank you, Lord, for forced rest,

When my body was in desperate need,

But I refused to rest.

…

Thank you, Lord, that I am Your daughter,

And You are my Father,

And nothing can ever change that.

 

Written 6-14-2002

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I FORGIVE

22 Dec

 

“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” Jeremiah 31:3

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Someone carelessly speaks words of pain,

Showering down and restoring old wounds.

My mind submits to you, Lord,

I forgive and reach out in love.

—

But my heart slips deep into a void,

Refusing to listen,

Refusing to obey,

Reuniting the moment with the pain,

Over and Over.

—

I struggle with an inner battle,

Back and forth,

Praying that my heart

Will melt in obedience,

Releasing the hurt inside.

—

I fast and pray,

Lord, show me the way.

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My own shortcomings,

Rise up before me.

My spirit grieves,

Was I forgiven?

—

How could I,

Forgiven for such as these,

Not forgive.

—

How could I,

Loved, in spite of my shame,

Not love.

 

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Written 5/11/95

 

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DEAD BRANCHES

19 Nov

 

”But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” Matthew 18:6 (KJV)

 

Many years ago we experienced a winter far colder than any other I had experienced. Lakes frozen over, streets frozen over, chunks of ice were inches thick on the electrical and telephone wires all over town. People couldn’t drive their cars up the steep streets of Prescott, AZ. Police officers were turning lines of cars around in an attempt to reduce further accidents. It was COLD!

 On a warm afternoon, several months later, I was enjoying a quiet moment on my front porch. There was a light breeze blowing and suddenly a large branch fell out of our tree in the front yard. The tree was beautiful green and full with leaves. There wasn’t any sign of dead branches, until this one fell.

 I wandered over and looked up into the tree. It looked green and healthy. I looked from a different angle; green and . . . oh, wait, what was the brown in the middle? I brought over a ladder and looked closer – dead branches. There were a number of dead branches broken loose from the tree, being held in place by the new growth, waiting for a wind to set them loose. I suspect that these branches were broken loose by the heavy ice that had rested there in the months before. I pulled a few of the branches out and left those that were out of easy reach.

 It made me think about new Christians and how they have broken and wounded spirits that are hiding in their newly born lives. Lives full of enthusiasm and desire to grow with Jesus, covering over the brokenness and wounds that first drew them to Jesus. They look fresh and beautiful on the outside, hiding the pain inside.

 So many times we rejoice with their salvation and ignore the task set before us to help them grow. We often think they’ll find their own way to their faith and the truth. We might “toss” a scripture their way if they ask a specific question or two, but don’t get too involved in explaining what it means. After a while they become discouraged and disappear.

These “Babies” need someone to come along and embrace them, pray with them, teach them to let go and allow the pain and wounds to drop away through the healing of Jesus. Like us, they are called to be fountains of living water. They are to grow and be pruned by the Master, just like we were. They will be shaken clean by the winds of trial. Their roots will grow strong with dedicated study, prayer and intercession. But, only if we will teach them how.

 What sort of witness are we if we spend our time preening ourselves and not guiding them along the way? Do we allow them to be tossed by the winds of doctrine, or do we show them how to receive the wind of the Spirit and the healing Word of God? Do we allow them to wander and be confused by tempting spirits, or do we teach them to discern and recognize the truth? Do we brush away the dead branches we can easily see and leave the deepest, furthest away to remain? Or do we dedicate our works to intercession and instruction, so that they can recognize the things in their lives that they have the authority to cleanse away themselves. Do we care?

 God, help me to never forget how confused and lost I was when I first came to You. Help me to remember the outstretched hands and dedicated prayers that lead me to a strong knowledge of You. Help me remember how strong the pull was to give up and walk away when things just didn’t make sense, and the joy of breaking through with a well guided word and a moment of encouragement. Help me to be the example to help others find true relationship with You.

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By Linda J. Humes

Written 10-1-2012

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RUNNING AWAY

27 Oct

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

I have been most blessed. God has given me three wonderful boys to love, encourage, and enjoy. Each of them has a strong call of God upon their lives, all in different capacities. We call each one by the name God has placed upon our heart – Pastor Jon, Deacon Eli and Chaplain Paul. In the body of Christ, all positions are of equal importance (1 Cor 12:12), this we have shown them so that neither feels of less importance than the other.

Having children called to the ministry is a tremendous challenge. The challenge isn’t in Bible study or scripture memorization, they strive to meet those desires themselves. The challenge is in recognizing the Spiritual Warfare and the schemes of the enemy that tempt them away from the call God has upon them.

Although there are many stories of miracles and answered prayer for each of them, our greatest challenge has been with our oldest son. He is currently a teenager (written in 2000), raised most of his life in Christian education, but placed into the public school system during the 8th grade, when the Christian school he had been attending closed. Placed in an environment he had never been subjected to, the enemy tempted and attacked, stole and taunted. However difficult these trials were, they couldn’t compare to the luring and wooing that called his name.

With peer pressure and Satan’s enticing whispers, he was drawn into a life we never expected. Although the rejection of family values was difficult for us, it was the running away that tormented our family. Where was he? Was he eating? Did he have a safe place to sleep? Who is he with? Why has he left us? Doesn’t he love us anymore?

Doesn’t he love us anymore? Rejection by your own child. Harsh words and accusations fly about. Why didn’t we see this coming? Only prayer brings us peace, difficult travailing prayer. I can’t begin to explain the depth of emotions a parent goes through in circumstances such as these. Love, hope, anger, hopelessness. Faith, doubt, pain, faith. Sorrow, prayer, memories, trust.

As I prayed one night, I asked God if He could understand the special relationship that grows as you hold that baby, child, young man in your arms and protect him from every possible danger that could come against him – God showed me Jesus, sent to earth to be born in a lowly manger, vulnerable to man, protected by the angels; the same angels that he has sent to watch over my son. I asked God if He could ever understand the pain and the rejection of a child not wanting to be near you, after you’ve been his best friend for most of his life – God showed me Jesus, standing before the crowd, as they chose Barabas to live and Jesus to die. I asked God if He knew what it felt like to sit in your child’s room, empty, hollow, except for the memories that line the walls and shelves – God showed me Golgatha, and Jesus’ lifeless body on the cross. I asked God if He could understand the pain of searching every street, every car, looking closely at every child the same age and build, in hopes of seeing your child, even at a distance – God showed me the people at the cross, dividing Jesus’ clothes, cutting into His lifeless body with a spear, laughing at all He was, void of any righteousness or desire of God. I asked God if He knew what it was like, waiting for the phone to ring or the front door to open, just to hear your child’s voice calling again, waiting , praying – God opened my ears to hear Jesus’ last cry, “Why hast thou forsaken me?”

Yes, He knows. He gave His son willingly, to walk in places of evil that all may be saved, even my son. He gave His son to bring hope, life and peace, knowing the pain and agony His son had to feel before it could be done. He watched as everything His son did was rejected and scorned, even as He lay lifeless. Yes, He knows.

Then God reminded me of the many times I have turned from Him. How many times have I turned my back on the family He has placed me in? How many times have I rejected the values and desires He has placed inside me? How many times have I spoken harsh and hurting words to Him, as I ran away to a world of selfish pleasure? How many times have I simply chosen to be somewhere else instead of in the sweet relationship with my Father? How many times have I put other things, people, places before Him? How many others have done the same?

Forgive us Lord, with your unlimited mercy, for all the times we fell to temptation and disappointed You. Forgive me, Lord, for thinking that You could never understand the pain of a Mother. Remind me that you are in control of all things. Help me to trust You and run back to You all of my days.

 

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Written 7-14-2000

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PURE GOLD

22 Oct

And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It [is] my people: and they shall say, The LORD [is] my God.   Zechariah 13:9

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I can see you little children,

I can see the tenderness within.

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I see the pain with which you shield it,

Open up and let Me in.

—

Let Me strip away the torments,

Let Me free the child inside.

—

Let Me open what’s within you,

I’ll show you why, for you, I died.

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If you could only see with My eyes,

Could see the crown and jewels you hold.

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If you could only love with My heart,

You’d know that you’re pure gold.

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. . . .Pure Gold . . . . PURE GOLD.

—

 

Written 3/5/95

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