“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12 (KJV)
The perception of purity grieves me for a number of reasons, not only for the scriptural reasons, but for the women, young and old, caught up in the belief that they must adhere to an immoral cultural standard to be accepted and loved.
The problem really exploded in the 60’s with the Vietnam War. The youth believed that someone was going to drop “the bomb” and we were all going to die. I had friends who vowed never to marry or have children because we were “all going to die soon.” The Haight-Ashbury Park was constantly on TV; free sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll; party and do what “feels good.” Thank goodness I didn’t get caught up in that culture.
I recognize that purity has been a problem since the beginning of time, if it hadn’t been it wouldn’t have been mentioned in the Bible. However, I suspect that with today’s media, our young people are bombarded and confused about what is morally right and acceptable.
In the last 5 years I’ve found it nearly impossible to find reasonably priced clothing in a modest style. Low cut tops and high midriffs, with tight low-cut pants, sends a sexual message, intended or not, that the wearer is available. After clothing stimulation are the TV shows where it is normal to have sex after a casual meeting with music in the background playing “I want to sex you up.” No wonder people are confused.
The culture doesn’t just affect the secular world, the children raised in church face the same issues. We teach them good values and then they have to live in a world where they look so out of norm. Kids tell them they are freaks and if they have to dress that way they don’t want to be Christians. Our kids feel caught between 2 worlds and most gravitate toward their peers.
When a person does step out of the secular world and comes to church, giving their heart to Jesus, a new dilemma arises – condemnation! What was acceptable clothing and behavior outside the church is an offense inside the church and they are torn between the pain of the world and the condemnation of the church.
Before we can teach a person about honor, strength, wisdom, commitment to Christ, fruitful lives and Christ-like intimacy, we have to help them understand who they are in Christ and the preciousness God sees in them. Until they realize that they are accepted, they will not be willing to change their lifestyles.
If the women and men of the church could encourage them in some area of their life, then they will work harder in that encouraged area and the Holy Spirit will work inside of them. The church can’t expect overnight change, they didn’t get where they are in a day and they won’t get out in a day. The more we encourage and spend time with them, the more they will want to model our walk and leave worldly behaviors behind. It takes the older, spiritually mature women, to guide the younger women in the right path; same with the spiritually mature men and young men. Love and respect will be the catalyst for true and continued growth.
The key for the church is mentoring, consistency and love. Once modesty is understood, the other areas will fall into place. You can’t teach honor, wisdom, spiritual strength or a fruitful life, but you can model it. If church representatives dress seductively, the newcomers will become confused and leave. If leadership doesn’t set boundaries for worship teams and platform attire, how can we expect the congregation to be modest? People will follow the area of your life that they see honors Christ. They will want the peace and the joy you have and will see how you attain it. They will read stories in the Bible and see how change in people’s lives brought about a change in the world. They will want to make a difference too. We teach by our walk, our love, our encouragement, just like Jesus did with His disciples. That’s an okay thing; maybe that’s the PERFECT thing.
Father God, please always let me see the person inside, and not what is hanging on the outside. Let me see others with Your eyes.
Written 3-11-2010 / Published 10-13-2021
Linda J. Humes 