Virtuous

23 Sep

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26 (KJV)

Proverbs talks about a virtuous woman that most of us can only wonder about. In the hustle and bustle of the modern day life, most of us are tickled to get home from work, put dinner on the table, help with the kid’s homework, draw their baths and find 5 minutes to breathe before “hitting the sack.” I feel greatly accomplished if I can get an hour of prayer, Bible study and devotionals in before the family is up in the morning. How did life get this way?

The husband of the virtuous woman trusts her, and because of it he increases in his livelihood – but today the divorce rate (inside and outside of the church) is 50% in America in 2011, and many couples never marry at all, they just enjoy the “pleasure” without the commitment. Trust becomes scarce.

The virtuous woman works with her hands and brings food from “afar” – today, working with your hands ruins a $40 fingernail job and no one wants to travel more than a mile to go to the well-stocked grocery store.

The virtuous woman gets up while it is still dark and provides food for her family and servants – today, it’s a waffle or Pop Tart tossed in the toaster and everyone is still eating as they run out the door to school, appointments and work.

The virtuous woman buys land and plants vineyards – today, we’re trying desperately to keep our homes out of foreclosure. Inner city home lots are very small and growing a small garden is a true challenge with limited time and the cost of water. The time and financial economics doesn’t encourage the consideration, it’s cheaper and easier to pick up processed canned veggies.

The virtuous woman girds herself with strength – today, we are bombarded with ads about workout videos, the newest greatest exercise equipment, and classes that we attend a few times and then drop out of for lack of time and/or ambition.

The virtuous woman makes good quality products and works late into the night to finish them – today, we spend our days at a job in a business owned by someone else, hoping for a reduction in hours and an increase in pay. It is just an end to a need, no feeling of belonging, no pride in ownership, and little hope of success.

The virtuous woman makes sure her family is well clothed, and in “fine” clothing – today, there are charities and websites addressing the needs of the homeless and impoverished, begging for warm clothing and blankets because jobs are so scarce. People are living in their cars, in parks, in tents, or if they’re lucky, with relatives; trying to survive.

The virtuous woman has many other qualities that I do see clearly in the Church today, and even stronger as this economy rages. I see diligence in prayer, for themselves and for those in the community around them. I see honor in lending a hand to another, knowing that “but by the Grace of God go I.” I see developing and increasing wisdom through their relationship with Jesus. I see extended kindness to the hurting and lost through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Although the times have drastically changed between the writing about the Virtuous Woman and now, we still have the choice of how we will live our lives and present ourselves to those around us. We can take on the armor of God, or find continued excuses to give into the way of the world. We can exhibit the fruit of the Spirit, or we can block out the needs of the helpless and dying; caring for “our 4 and no more.” We can be the hands and feet of Jesus – or we can prepare ourselves for the words “I never knew you: depart from me . . .” (Matt 7:23).

Lord, help me to strive to be virtuous, never forgetting that EVERYONE around me is your child, filled with dimmed hopes and abandoned dreams. Let me be your hands and feet.

By Linda J. Humes

Written 12-30-2011

Troubled Water

23 Sep

(4) For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool, and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had. (7) The impotent man answered him, Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me.   John 5:4&7

I can feel it -

 the shaking,

 the stirring,

 inside.


The angels 

 have troubled the water,

 deep within me.


Who will help me,

 draw close to the pool,

 where pure love,

 can heal?


Where the Glory of God,

 lights the dark recesses

 of doubt.


If I move quickly,

 toward the call of God,

 the desperate corners,

 I find to hide in,

 will be purged and cleansed,

 and my Spirit,

 will be set free,

 to soar above the circumstances,

 my soul calls hopeless.


Who will take the chance,

 of entering into my world,

 and carry me down,

 to the healing pool,

 where Spirit and soul,

 come together?


Who will lay their life open,

 to care - to hurt - to lift?


Could it be you?

 

Written 1-20-99

YOU’RE THERE

23 Sep

 

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:  And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.   1 Kings 19:11-12 (KJV)

 

I can't hear You, Lord,

I can't hear You today.

Just a quiet whispering;

A rustling.



There was a day when we walked together, 

Talked together,

Closest friends.



Your words were loud and sure,

I knew Your will,

No doubt which path to take.

But I can't hear You, Lord,

I can't hear You today.



There were joyful times,

Times of tears,

Times of intercession,

And deepest prayers.



I felt You then,

You heard my cries and held me tight.

But I can't hear You, Lord,

I can't hear You today.



Somewhere I fell faint,

Neglected to listen,

Perhaps I disobeyed.

Or is this a testing time,

To see if I will remain,

Even in Your silence.

How will I know, Lord,

I can't hear You today.



I'll go on, as You've taught me,

I'll overcome,

Walk in joy,

Sing Your praises,

Again and again.



And when You've finished,

Testing and trying,

Pruning and purging,

Loving and lifting,

I will know.



Even in silence You are there,

Even in darkness You are there,

Even in diligent unanswered prayer,

You are there.

In Your word,

 And in the hearts of Your children.

Written 9-3-91

 

WHOSE FLOWER?

23 Sep

. . . Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:”   Matthew 6:28

I’m God’s favorite; I just know it.

There it was, a beautiful purple Aster, growing all alone in a dry, brown field. Drought had hit Northern Arizona and the normally green fields and trees were brown and brittle. Yet there it was.

Its green leaves were brilliant against the brown. The purple flower faced diligently toward the sun, soaking in the warmth. I knew as I enjoyed its delicate beauty that God had sent it – just for me.

We had just moved to a small town, far from our church family of 10 years. I felt small in a large empty land; alone. All my years of ministry seemed to be sitting on a shelf and I was seeking God to know why He had planted us here and what He wanted us to do next.

There was His answer – in a barren field. Bloom where you’re planted. Become a flower in the desert with your eyes only on the Son. There I can use you to touch My hurting children.

Thank you Father, for never forgetting who we are. Thank you Father that you love your children so very much. Thank you Father for gifts, physical and spiritual – just when we need them. Thank you Father for planting me where You need me most. Let me always remain your humble servant.

My, My. Whose flower will I be?

Written 11/25/2002

SPIRIT OF MAN

22 Sep

“The spirit of man is the candle of the Lord, searching all the inward parts of the belly.”  Proverbs 20:27


Lord, can you see

the death within 

the fallen man?



Has the light,

You've placed,

inside his soul,

dimmed from the absence,

of the anointing oil?



Does his inward parts,

grow dark and empty,

from the absence of you?



Where did the oil go?

Did it slowly burn away,

when used on goodly projects,

void of Godly seed?



Did it burn rapidly away,

on endless nights,

of busy details,

none birthed for the kingdom,

only for the furtherance,

of man?



Did the glow leave,

so slowly,

that no one noticed,

the warmth in the depths of the eyes,

was replaced by cold,

hallow, loneliness?



Once cold, 

did the soul embrace the emptiness,

and call it home;

explaining the way back,

is too difficult?



Is there yet a hope, 

a small smoldering bud,

that a new flame,

could grow,

even brighter,

than the first?



Replenish the oil,

in this vessel, Lord,

that when the nights grow so weary,

I will draw closer to the flame,

and into Your light.



Let there be such an abundance,

that the light within me,

will show into the eyes,

of one so cold.



Let the oil flow,

so heavily,

from my anointing,

that it will flow from my prayers,

through the depths of Jesus,

and into another's life.



Let me always be a light,

to lift the darkness,

in another's soul.


 

Written 7-28-99

TINY FLAME

22 Sep

No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light.   Luke 11:33

Being burdened down by the flu on New Year’s Eve 1999 kept me home from the outstanding event our church had been preparing for the previous 4 months. I sent up my prayers for my church family and the events they had worked so hard on – then I lay back down and prayed for relief from the symptoms I’d been fighting the previous 2 ½ days.

The year 2000 was about to become a reality, 2000 years since the death of our precious savior – 2000 years of salvation by faith, by grace, by the blood of Christ. 2000 years.

We’ve come from traveling by foot, to traveling by jet plane. From writing on the bark of a tree with the juice of berries, to computers and the internet. From never traveling farther than 30 miles from where we were born, to the moon, mars and beyond.

We come from a way of life where our entire days were surrounded by the teaching of the ways of the Biblical Fathers, to the days where people walked with Christ – God made flesh, to the time where it is difficult to work 10 minutes of prayer into our busy daily schedules. We have advanced our civilization in the last 100 years at a pace that has outreached any imagination the early pioneers could have had. We have created, and created, and created at such a rapid pace that we have left ourselves little time to remember, let alone thank, the creator of all.

I prepared my candle and matches, just in case the Y2K “doomsayers” were correct and I needed to travel from one end of the house to the other in total darkness. I lit the candle and realized how I’ve always been drawn to the tiny flame. It has always intrigued me how lighting a candle during the day gives off so little light, but at night, when all other light has been extinguished, that one tiny flame can light an enormous room.

Drawing close to the flame you can feel the warmth that it emits. A warmth far beyond its tiny reach. This light and warmth draws me together with those who have shared this very moment for hundreds and thousands of years. Long before the birth of Christ. Before Moses and the burning bush; that burned and yet wasn’t consumed. Long before Pharaoh and Noah.

A light and a warmth that comforted Adam and Eve, expelled from Paradise, sent into a land of unknown sounds, shadows and total darkness – caused from being apart from God. I envision their being drawn to the flame, like the many times they drew near to God’s glory; warm and comforting.

Like that tiny flame, I wonder what part I play in the spiritual darkness that has spread across the world. Can the small flame that burns inside me, lit by the Holy Spirit and fed by the anointing, create enough light to show others the way to Christ? Can that flame generate enough warmth to draw the confused to a place of comfort and understanding?

Lord, I pray that as long as I remain on this earth, that I will always share the light that’s within me. Help me to feed the hungry and comfort the comfortless. Let me always remember that the reason I have been placed upon this earth is to praise and give all glory to You!

Written 12/31/99 – and yet it still applies today!

PREDATOR

16 Sep

For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.     Luke 12:2-3

What wicked thoughts we conjure.

Demons whisper in our ears,

Vaporous torrents rise in our soul.

Who to share it with?

Who will hasten to evil devices,

Deep into the den of disgrace and deception.

Did you hear . . . . do you know . . . . did you see?

Evil seeds planted in anxious minds.

Is it true? No one knows.

Repented? No one cares,

How wonderfully luscious to seek to destroy.

Did you hear . . . . do you know . . . . did you see?

Yet evil thoughts can be heard,

Wicked works can be seen.

As quickly as the subject’s life is shattered,

The predator is caught and displayed.

Sometimes in the sight of man,

Always in the sight of God.

Who will quench this treacherous trail?

Who will walk in light and truth,

Where never will darkness be?

Who will heal the wounded soul,

Who’ll free the sin bound man.

Only He that knows the goodness inside every tortured soul.

Only those who have planted their feet,

Firmly in His footsteps.

Written 3/4/95

WHAT EVIL THIS?

15 Sep

. . . Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.”     Revelation 12:12 (KJV)

Did you ever notice how an act of kindness is noticed, smiled upon, and quickly dismissed as we walk into the familiarity of our daily lives? The news programs rarely give more than a 60 second blurb on the event, and it never receives a second glance. Yet, when evil visits, it permeates our body and soul, rendering us shattered and helpless.

As I left work yesterday I chose to drive through Arizona State University on my way to my room. I do this now and again because I enjoy the old buildings along University Drive, and seeing the new buildings that pop up between. As usual, the road was under construction (for years it seems) and I was able to spend a goodly time contemplating the events of the week. Only the day before was the Virginia Tech massacre where 33 precious lives were lost to a student gunman.

Before I even reached the campus heavy dark smoke began billowing up – 3 fire trucks, with sirens blaring, were trying to maneuver between the creeping traffic – all headed toward campus. Along the sidewalk students laughed, teased and walked toward their dorms – dressed in various expressions of who they wanted us to believe they were – dodging the occasional skateboard Romeo. I wondered if that was what it was like just before the gunfire started in Virginia.

The fire ended up being about a block north of campus; couldn’t tell if it was a building or a car – but wondered what went through the minds of the firemen when the alarm went off for an emergency near the university.

The people in the cars near by seemed more frustrated at the delays than contemplative or concerned. Was Virginia too far away for them to feel the pain of mourning students and family? Aren’t they aware that evil passes from the soul of one man to yet another without hindrance of time or distance? My God, please forgive us.

Overhead I saw a passenger plane preparing to descend and I remembered the days when the airport was closed and no planes were allowed in the air because of the evil that descended on New York. The pain of that evil rose up and met the pain of the evil from Virginia; the pain grew as the sirens whaled, searching for the nearby fire – red and blue lights flashing.

In a week the news stations will drop the story of Virginia Tech and will go on to the local stories of death and torture. Affected families will search for comfort and answers – some will blame God for man’s free will choice. Some will pray. I believe that is where I will be.

God, please let us never forget that the only way to dispel evil is to fill man with your precious Spirit. Bring us the opportunity to love on your unloved, that they might find You – before evil plants his feet in the soul of the shattered.

 

Written 4-18-07

 

STEPPING FORWARD

14 Sep

The waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee; they were afraid: the depths also were troubled. The clouds poured out water: the skies sent out a sound: thine arrows also went abroad. The voice of thy thunder was in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook. Thy way is in the sea, and thy path in the great waters, and thy footsteps are not known. Thou leddest thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.    

Psalm 77:16-20 (KJV)

 

I stand in the path of troubled waters,

urged by a deep stirring in my soul.

My promise awaits me on the other side,

distant, dangerous, seemingly unattainable.

 

The waters are rising and churning,

lapping the ground at my feet,

teasing, testing, tantalizing.

 

Dare I step into troubled water,

tempting Satan, testing God?

Is the vision but a dream

or God’s perfect will?

 

There is no Moses to lead me in,

no Aaron to encourage me forth.

The angels hide, wait, watch.

Dare I take a chance

and step into the churning depths?

 

Do I trust God to part the sea,

dry the ground my feet must travel upon,

and hide my footsteps beneath the returning waters?

Or do I remain in my sheltered life,

no risks taken, nothing lost, nothing gained.

 

Do I reach out to the will of God,

the high calling I have been predestined to take,

or rest behind,

allowing another to receive the rich blessing

and sense of victory.

 

The sea of troubled water is frightening,

yet enchanting.

There is so much to gain,

so little to lose.

The waters surge and ebb,

surge and ebb.

Call me forward, Father,

as I strive to please you.

 

I close my eyes to self,

to doubt, to acceptable mediocrity.

One step at a time I move forward,

one step at a time.

 

As the waters part and rise up around me

I see the truth of my adversary,

like a motion picture through a looking glass,

larger than life, magnified,

yet fragile and easily destroyed.

Why did I fear?

 

Will those troubles disappear?

No!

They will always rest in the troubled waters.

It is my choice to view them,

or place my eyes on God,

and take a step forward,

knowing that each step will part the waters

and find solid ground.

 

Art thou not it which hath dried the sea, the waters of the great deep;

that hath made the depths of the sea a way for the ransomed to pass over? 

Isaiah 51:10  (KJV)

 

 

Written 9-11-00

 

In His Love

14 Sep

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4-5 (NIV)

My birth father was a very “unkind” person. Children weren’t to be seen or heard. The least infraction or word spoken out of order resulted in a backhand to the face and a tumble across the floor. It was just the way thing were in my home in the 50’s.

A memory came back to me of an event that impacted my life in a difficult way. I was 8 at the time, my brother was 6, and my sister was close to 3. My sister had been given a medium size baby doll. One day my dad decided to rip the head off of that doll and turn it inside out. To a child a doll can be very real and I remember the horror I felt when he ripped the head off, and the intensified feeling when he turned it inside out; the eyes bulging out and showing the hair stitched to the scalp.

He found great pleasure in the fact that it frightened my brother and me. He put the head on a stick, thrusting it at us, and screaming something as we ran around the outside of the house, trying to get away. He found where we were hiding and repeated his thrusting, time after time after time. My brother and I screaming with fear. When he grew tired of chasing us he mounted the head on the fence post of our front yard gate. We were too afraid to go past the head to go through the front door and into the house. It remained there for weeks. I never wanted a doll after that. I could not get the pictures of that event out of my mind.

It took a long time for me to completely believe in and trust God. I didn’t find relationship with Jesus until I was 38 years old, and I didn’t completely believe that the promises of God were for someone like me – a nobody – a loser – an unwanted person.

I struggled with who I was and how an almighty God could love me when I never had felt the love of an adult. How could I believe the words in the New Testament when I had never had a practical application to compare it to.

I continued to battle with myself about God and who I was until the night I received the Baptism of the Holy Ghost. I had prayed at the altar every Sunday night for almost 2 years for the Baptism. The long period of prayer seemed to mock my low self-esteem. One day a woman gave her testimony in service. She said that she had tried and tried to receive the Baptism without success, and kept repeating that she wasn’t worthy enough to receive the Baptism. Then she heard the voice of God tell her that no one is worthy to receive it; it’s a free gift from the love of God. When she heard those words she relaxed, praised, and received. The next week I received the Baptism and with it came warmth and peace and an incredible feeling of being wholly loved by someone that would never let me go.

When a person steps out of abusive relationships they find it so difficult to trust God. They want so strongly to believe in His promises, yet they are terrified that once again they will be betrayed. It takes special people to help them step past that fear and understand the love and peace found in God.

Lord, help me to be a catalyst to the wounded, to help them to believe in who You are. Help me to help them believe in pure love, pure faith and in themselves – the person You see, and not the reflection of the past they see in the mirror. Let me be your hands and feet to the world. Let me be Your testimony.

 

Written  5/11/12