Tag Archives: Shame

Forsaking the Call

5 Apr

But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.   Matthew 18:6

There are times in every person’s life when difficult decisions have to be made, knowing that those decisions will affect the lives of many others. When we are called to the faith we are to prefer others above ourselves and accommodate others, knowing that God will accommodate us.

Most recently I have observed brothers of the faith making decisions that were intended to destroy the character of another strong Christian. False truths and innuendo have been stated and spread to cover the true reason behind the attack – financial gain and career advancement.

I was contemplating a way to expose the ploy and show the true colors of those involved, but I hear the voice of God very clearly . . . “vengeance is mine.”

It is bad enough that friendships have been destroyed and jobs have been lost for others to gain power and finance. It’s terrible that integrity has been tarnished and respect destroyed. Now, when they least expect it, God’s anger and punishment will fall. What sacrifice this? Will there be restoration? Will trust ever be regained? Will opportunities be lost forever?

As believers, we are called to a higher standard of integrity, a higher obligation NOT to walk in worldly ways. When taking on the mantle of Pastor, that obligation massively multiplies. People are watching. Christians are disdained in general for the faults of a few. Shame falls on the family of God.

Lord, let me always be aware of the people and circumstances around me that I might not make a choice what would push others farther away from You. I never want to experience your vengeance; only your grace and love.

 

 

Written 10/26/2010

I FORGIVE

22 Dec

 

The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” Jeremiah 31:3

Someone carelessly speaks words of pain,

Showering down and restoring old wounds.

My mind submits to you, Lord,

I forgive and reach out in love.

But my heart slips deep into a void,

Refusing to listen,

Refusing to obey,

Reuniting the moment with the pain,

Over and Over.

I struggle with an inner battle,

Back and forth,

Praying that my heart

Will melt in obedience,

Releasing the hurt inside.

I fast and pray,

Lord, show me the way.

My own shortcomings,

Rise up before me.

My spirit grieves,

Was I forgiven?

How could I,

Forgiven for such as these,

Not forgive.

How could I,

Loved, in spite of my shame,

Not love.

 

Written 5/11/95