Tag Archives: Darkness

A BRAND NEW DAY

4 Apr

 

“For now we see in a mirror, darkly, but then face to face.

Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13: 12-13

 

Steam from the frigid water,

Rises up to kiss the sun.

Birds shake loose the morning dew,

And sing the sweetest song.

The leaves and petals raise their face,

To drink the first rays of day.

Music fills the air, chasing away the cold darkness,

Of the night.

Clouds part, allowing the gold and purple hues,

To dance across the sky.

Webs glisten in intricate geometric patterns.

Tiny footprints grace the fresh morning soil.

It’s a brand new day and God has given His first gift.

Lord, teach me to see with spiritual eyes,

The same daily beauty I see in the natural.

Remove the scales of circumstance,

That cloud my spiritual vision.

Help me to receive Your morning kiss,

With more joy and admiration,

Than simple nature.

Help me to receive the miracle of NOW.

 

Written 6-15-2002

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TINY FLAME

22 Sep

No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light.   Luke 11:33

Being burdened down by the flu on New Year’s Eve 1999 kept me home from the outstanding event our church had been preparing for the previous 4 months. I sent up my prayers for my church family and the events they had worked so hard on – then I lay back down and prayed for relief from the symptoms I’d been fighting the previous 2 ½ days.

The year 2000 was about to become a reality, 2000 years since the death of our precious savior – 2000 years of salvation by faith, by grace, by the blood of Christ. 2000 years.

We’ve come from traveling by foot, to traveling by jet plane. From writing on the bark of a tree with the juice of berries, to computers and the internet. From never traveling farther than 30 miles from where we were born, to the moon, mars and beyond.

We come from a way of life where our entire days were surrounded by the teaching of the ways of the Biblical Fathers, to the days where people walked with Christ – God made flesh, to the time where it is difficult to work 10 minutes of prayer into our busy daily schedules. We have advanced our civilization in the last 100 years at a pace that has outreached any imagination the early pioneers could have had. We have created, and created, and created at such a rapid pace that we have left ourselves little time to remember, let alone thank, the creator of all.

I prepared my candle and matches, just in case the Y2K “doomsayers” were correct and I needed to travel from one end of the house to the other in total darkness. I lit the candle and realized how I’ve always been drawn to the tiny flame. It has always intrigued me how lighting a candle during the day gives off so little light, but at night, when all other light has been extinguished, that one tiny flame can light an enormous room.

Drawing close to the flame you can feel the warmth that it emits. A warmth far beyond its tiny reach. This light and warmth draws me together with those who have shared this very moment for hundreds and thousands of years. Long before the birth of Christ. Before Moses and the burning bush; that burned and yet wasn’t consumed. Long before Pharaoh and Noah.

A light and a warmth that comforted Adam and Eve, expelled from Paradise, sent into a land of unknown sounds, shadows and total darkness – caused from being apart from God. I envision their being drawn to the flame, like the many times they drew near to God’s glory; warm and comforting.

Like that tiny flame, I wonder what part I play in the spiritual darkness that has spread across the world. Can the small flame that burns inside me, lit by the Holy Spirit and fed by the anointing, create enough light to show others the way to Christ? Can that flame generate enough warmth to draw the confused to a place of comfort and understanding?

Lord, I pray that as long as I remain on this earth, that I will always share the light that’s within me. Help me to feed the hungry and comfort the comfortless. Let me always remember that the reason I have been placed upon this earth is to praise and give all glory to You!

Written 12/31/99 – and yet it still applies today!

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PREDATOR

16 Sep

For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever ye have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which ye have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops.     Luke 12:2-3

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What wicked thoughts we conjure.

Demons whisper in our ears,

Vaporous torrents rise in our soul.

—

Who to share it with?

Who will hasten to evil devices,

Deep into the den of disgrace and deception.

Did you hear . . . . do you know . . . . did you see?

—

Evil seeds planted in anxious minds.

Is it true? No one knows.

Repented? No one cares,

How wonderfully luscious to seek to destroy.

Did you hear . . . . do you know . . . . did you see?

—

Yet evil thoughts can be heard,

Wicked works can be seen.

As quickly as the subject’s life is shattered,

The predator is caught and displayed.

—

Sometimes in the sight of man,

Always in the sight of God.

—

Who will quench this treacherous trail?

Who will walk in light and truth,

Where never will darkness be?

Who will heal the wounded soul,

Who’ll free the sin bound man.

—

Only He that knows the goodness inside every tortured soul.

Only those who have planted their feet,

Firmly in His footsteps.

—

Written 3/4/95

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DEPRESSION

8 Sep

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.     Psalms 42:5-6 (KJV)

Depression started for me in my early teens. It is a dark consuming pain – beyond tears and hope. It is the feeling of helplessness – no control over any portion of your life, not your thoughts, your appetite, not even your emotions. It is difficult to focus, it is difficult to breathe. It is Satan’s greatest tool to stop God’s children from striving.

When I became a Christian my battle with depression ceased for a long time. I quit my well-paying, secure job and went into full-time ministry. What a delightful and faith-testing time. I dove head first into Biblical study and worship music (playing and singing). I think that God allowed me this peaceful time to build the strong foundation of faith that I was going to need to stand during the trials and storms of the future.

Challenges came – life changing events and situations that threatened to destroy our family and our faith – but we stood. Each time we grew stronger. The Depression there, but not consuming as it had been in the past, until recently.

For all the times we’ve faced life’s challenges in the past, this year has been a series of events that far surpassed anything we could have anticipated. I looked at our circumstances, I looked at our resources, I took my eyes off of our true Source – the darkness overtook me.

Well meaning friends offered words they thought would encourage – but cut like a knife. “If you have Jesus in your heart, you will never be without peace.” “If you have faith in Jesus you wouldn’t be depressed.” I guess they haven’t read passages in Psalm, Ecclesiastes or Job! Some of our greatest Bible leaders suffered terrible depression and wrote as they cried out to God.

I have a good friend and pastor who once told me that Depression was anger turned inward. I agree. You realize how little control you have over problems and situations and feel so helpless at your own inabilities; you turn inward.

I remember crying out to God for hours to help me get out of the dark hollowness. When I went into deep worship my darkness lifted. I asked God why He allowed me to go so deep into despair, why He wasn’t there with me. He showed me how He had been right next to me all the time, reaching a hand down to pull me up, waiting for me to reach back. He showed me where His hand had been moving on the situations all the time. I was able to see the miracles blooming all around. I could see His teardrops on my shoulder when He cried with me in my pain.

King David said that God taught our hands to war and our fingers to fight – I war with the enemy of our soul with my pen and paper. I will war for King Jesus – and hope my words will help others overcome the darkness that overcomes even the strongest saint. God, hold me ever near that I may never loose sight of You and who You are. I know You will always stand with me – and cry with me in my pain. Keep my mind set on you that I might never slip again into that pit.

 

 

Written 6-24-2008

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WAX MUSEUM

7 Oct

wax-museum-welcome-sign1

(THE EYES OF THE HOPELESSLY DEAD)

 The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness.                                                                                   Luke 11:34

Vacations are interesting entities.  They are times when you spend money you know better than to spend and visit places that you may have only had a vague interest in previously.

In our family, vacations are a valued commodity that arrive only once every 3 – 4 years.  It’s a time when we have saved and set aside so that we can travel off for a day or two and leave everything behind for someone else to care for.  This year was our year of VACATION – August 1999!!

We had been given our hotel room as a gift and part of that gift included tickets to the Movieland Wax Museum.  None of us had ever been to a wax museum – however, none of us had ever really been over-enthusiastic about going either.  But, it was vacation!  A time to see something new!  A time to . . . well, you know.

At first, I was intrigued by the replicas; life-size dolls, the exact size of a famous movie star, wearing the original costume from a movie or an article of clothing from the movie star’s personal wardrobe – or so they claim.

The tour began with the older movies.  What took me by surprise was the size of the stars.  The women were so tiny, petite (to compensate for the 20 extra pounds the camera add, I suspect).  Jean Harlow, Bette Davis, Kathryn Hepburn – all movie greats, up close and personal.

Then there were the men.  Characters that loomed so large on the screen were trim young men, not much taller than myself.  The illusion of grandeur diminished.  The overwhelming feeling of awe was reduced.  They were just people.  People who struggled with self-esteem and the pressures of fame.  People, just like me, who tried to juggle work and family and (prayerfully) devotions.

As I continued the tour I recognized depression setting over me.  Why, Lord?  What are you showing me that I can’t see?

“Look at them,” He said, “carefully.”

I began to look into the faces – past the aging clothing, the dusty sets, the fading make-up, and a few missing fingers.  I stood in one spot and turned a full circle, looking carefully into the eyes of the replicas.

“There’s nothing, Lord, nothing!”

And that was it!  Deep in the eyes was the absence of the soul.  They were exact replicas of the bodies of men – void of love, hate, joy, dreams and visions.  It was a morgue of dead bodies, dressed up to entertain people.

I walked through the “horror” section and felt nothing.  Even with the sound tracks playing in the background of some of the sets, there was nothing.  The eyes were dead and blank.  There were no demons, no tormented souls, no hate, no raging insanity.  They were the eyes of the hopelessly dead.

After leaving the museum I searched the face of every person I saw.  The daily anguish, joy and stresses were there.  It slowly relieved my depression.  It gave me new hope and a fresh battleground.  For in the tormented eyes there is hope for salvation.  In joy there is peace and encouragement for tomorrow.

No matter what the tormented soul is screaming out through the eyes – as long as there is life, there is an opportunity for Jesus to enter in.

Lord, let me always remember that every face I see could belong to a soul of little time.  Give me the courage to change the demons that dance in those eyes, before they become the eyes of the hopelessly dead.

 

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