Tag Archives: Overcoming

DEPRESSION

8 Sep

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar.     Psalms 42:5-6 (KJV)

Depression started for me in my early teens. It is a dark consuming pain – beyond tears and hope. It is the feeling of helplessness – no control over any portion of your life, not your thoughts, your appetite, not even your emotions. It is difficult to focus, it is difficult to breathe. It is Satan’s greatest tool to stop God’s children from striving.

When I became a Christian my battle with depression ceased for a long time. I quit my well-paying, secure job and went into full-time ministry. What a delightful and faith-testing time. I dove head first into Biblical study and worship music (playing and singing). I think that God allowed me this peaceful time to build the strong foundation of faith that I was going to need to stand during the trials and storms of the future.

Challenges came – life changing events and situations that threatened to destroy our family and our faith – but we stood. Each time we grew stronger. The Depression there, but not consuming as it had been in the past, until recently.

For all the times we’ve faced life’s challenges in the past, this year has been a series of events that far surpassed anything we could have anticipated. I looked at our circumstances, I looked at our resources, I took my eyes off of our true Source – the darkness overtook me.

Well meaning friends offered words they thought would encourage – but cut like a knife. “If you have Jesus in your heart, you will never be without peace.” “If you have faith in Jesus you wouldn’t be depressed.” I guess they haven’t read passages in Psalm, Ecclesiastes or Job! Some of our greatest Bible leaders suffered terrible depression and wrote as they cried out to God.

I have a good friend and pastor who once told me that Depression was anger turned inward. I agree. You realize how little control you have over problems and situations and feel so helpless at your own inabilities; you turn inward.

I remember crying out to God for hours to help me get out of the dark hollowness. When I went into deep worship my darkness lifted. I asked God why He allowed me to go so deep into despair, why He wasn’t there with me. He showed me how He had been right next to me all the time, reaching a hand down to pull me up, waiting for me to reach back. He showed me where His hand had been moving on the situations all the time. I was able to see the miracles blooming all around. I could see His teardrops on my shoulder when He cried with me in my pain.

King David said that God taught our hands to war and our fingers to fight – I war with the enemy of our soul with my pen and paper. I will war for King Jesus – and hope my words will help others overcome the darkness that overcomes even the strongest saint. God, hold me ever near that I may never loose sight of You and who You are. I know You will always stand with me – and cry with me in my pain. Keep my mind set on you that I might never slip again into that pit.

 

 

Written 6-24-2008

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Eve, Did You Know??

8 Dec

Adam & Eve

“For my words are wise, and my thoughts are filled with insight.”  Psalm 49:3  (NLT)

 The Garden of Eden holds a critical lesson about the frailty of man.  How easily we can be fooled by clever words that play on our earthly desires.  We can be so caught up in receiving those “special wants” that we don’t ask about the lingering after effects.

Extremely gifted people are placed in marketing departments for every major company.  If they can get people to touch their product, whatever it may be, and convince them that their product will dramatically change lives, then they’ve done their job and a product is sold.

How many cars have been purchased for the “sex appeal” marketing and later repossessed because of high car payments, high insurance costs and expensive repairs?  How many expensive jewelry purchases have put difficult financial burdens on young families because marketing says that a diamond ring or necklace is the only way to prove your love to your spouse?  How many young lives have fallen ruin because of movies and commercials showing that “Cool” people drink, smoke, party and are sexually active?

Satan tempted a “perfect” life in a “perfect” world and turned the entire future of man upside down.  Adam and Eve did not understand temptation; they did not understand evil; they did not understand that life could be anything different than it was.  They did understand that there was a rule and it was a very explicit and critical rule:  They were not to eat from the tree.

In Adam’s and Eve’s minds the gain must have appeared to far out-number the potential loss; how bad could the consequence possibly be in a “perfect” world?  We all know that the consequence was the exposure of imperfection, pain, fear, loss of relationship and death.  I wonder whether they would have been as willing to disobey if they truly had understood the consequence.

Many times I have wished that I could have kept my children completely protected from the evils of this world.  I raised them in a Christian school for many years, until it closed.  The harsh reality of life struck each of them in a different way when they started secular schooling and met their first bully.  They were shocked by the negative interactions of student to student and teacher to student.  Had I set them at a disadvantage by protecting their environment?  Would they have had better “worldly” coping skills if they had been exposed to non-Christian behavior in their formative years?  I can only guess and wonder and pray wisdom over my now grown children; each one walking a difficult journey in their lives right now.

Resisting those temptations, bullies and everyday challenges takes wisdom.  Wisdom sets us in right-standing with the Word of God and gives us the direction and skills to fight.  How do we receive wisdom, where does it lie?  It is in Jesus Himself (1 Corinthians 1:30); it is from God, given as a gift (Exodus 31:3); it is shouted in the streets and the public squares by those who have walked the journeys and chosen to encourage and warn others (Proverbs 1:20).  Wisdom is within each of us, if we ask for it; if we will humble ourselves and recognize our frailties; if we will desire not to fall into temptation (James 1:5).

God, please give me the wisdom to teach and guide Your children back to You.  Help me to help them to understand that temptation comes at the hands of skilled marketers, including Satan himself.  Help me to teach them to call out to You for wisdom – for the small things and for the mountains that stand in their path.  Please Lord, help me to remain humble as I ask again for the wisdom I need to continue this journey.

By Linda J. Humes

Written 8-29-2011

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