Tag Archives: Disappointments

RUNNING AWAY

27 Oct

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

I have been most blessed. God has given me three wonderful boys to love, encourage, and enjoy. Each of them has a strong call of God upon their lives, all in different capacities. We call each one by the name God has placed upon our heart – Pastor Jon, Deacon Eli and Chaplain Paul. In the body of Christ, all positions are of equal importance (1 Cor 12:12), this we have shown them so that neither feels of less importance than the other.

Having children called to the ministry is a tremendous challenge. The challenge isn’t in Bible study or scripture memorization, they strive to meet those desires themselves. The challenge is in recognizing the Spiritual Warfare and the schemes of the enemy that tempt them away from the call God has upon them.

Although there are many stories of miracles and answered prayer for each of them, our greatest challenge has been with our oldest son. He is currently a teenager (written in 2000), raised most of his life in Christian education, but placed into the public school system during the 8th grade, when the Christian school he had been attending closed. Placed in an environment he had never been subjected to, the enemy tempted and attacked, stole and taunted. However difficult these trials were, they couldn’t compare to the luring and wooing that called his name.

With peer pressure and Satan’s enticing whispers, he was drawn into a life we never expected. Although the rejection of family values was difficult for us, it was the running away that tormented our family. Where was he? Was he eating? Did he have a safe place to sleep? Who is he with? Why has he left us? Doesn’t he love us anymore?

Doesn’t he love us anymore? Rejection by your own child. Harsh words and accusations fly about. Why didn’t we see this coming? Only prayer brings us peace, difficult travailing prayer. I can’t begin to explain the depth of emotions a parent goes through in circumstances such as these. Love, hope, anger, hopelessness. Faith, doubt, pain, faith. Sorrow, prayer, memories, trust.

As I prayed one night, I asked God if He could understand the special relationship that grows as you hold that baby, child, young man in your arms and protect him from every possible danger that could come against him – God showed me Jesus, sent to earth to be born in a lowly manger, vulnerable to man, protected by the angels; the same angels that he has sent to watch over my son. I asked God if He could ever understand the pain and the rejection of a child not wanting to be near you, after you’ve been his best friend for most of his life – God showed me Jesus, standing before the crowd, as they chose Barabas to live and Jesus to die. I asked God if He knew what it felt like to sit in your child’s room, empty, hollow, except for the memories that line the walls and shelves – God showed me Golgatha, and Jesus’ lifeless body on the cross. I asked God if He could understand the pain of searching every street, every car, looking closely at every child the same age and build, in hopes of seeing your child, even at a distance – God showed me the people at the cross, dividing Jesus’ clothes, cutting into His lifeless body with a spear, laughing at all He was, void of any righteousness or desire of God. I asked God if He knew what it was like, waiting for the phone to ring or the front door to open, just to hear your child’s voice calling again, waiting , praying – God opened my ears to hear Jesus’ last cry, “Why hast thou forsaken me?”

Yes, He knows. He gave His son willingly, to walk in places of evil that all may be saved, even my son. He gave His son to bring hope, life and peace, knowing the pain and agony His son had to feel before it could be done. He watched as everything His son did was rejected and scorned, even as He lay lifeless. Yes, He knows.

Then God reminded me of the many times I have turned from Him. How many times have I turned my back on the family He has placed me in? How many times have I rejected the values and desires He has placed inside me? How many times have I spoken harsh and hurting words to Him, as I ran away to a world of selfish pleasure? How many times have I simply chosen to be somewhere else instead of in the sweet relationship with my Father? How many times have I put other things, people, places before Him? How many others have done the same?

Forgive us Lord, with your unlimited mercy, for all the times we fell to temptation and disappointed You. Forgive me, Lord, for thinking that You could never understand the pain of a Mother. Remind me that you are in control of all things. Help me to trust You and run back to You all of my days.

 

—

Written 7-14-2000

—

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

WHEN GREAT MEN FALL 

5 Aug

  

“And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.”  Mark 9:42 (KJV) 

    

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive,” Sir Walter Scott. 

  Heartbreaking.  Lives destroyed, families lost, everything gone.  How many times does the news report on the fall of great men?  Cities, states, and countries crumble with the fall of corrupt political leaders.  Companies close with the fall of unscrupulous officers.  Most devastating are the falls of pastors, evangelists or great religious leaders – taking down the faith and confidence of their congregations or followers.  Churches split, people walk away from the very beliefs that they drew strength from, never to return.  People become lost. 

  Falling men don’t have to be leaders, celebrities, pastors or figures of authority to cause the lives of others to be affected and destroyed.  Any man who has made a lifelong commitment to touching the lives of others, however big or small, can be the reason others lose their faith and trust in men.  A husband who chooses to quit work and leaves the responsibilities of caring for his family to his wife – as he sits and watches TV all day or plays for hours on the computer.  It could be a father who drowns his disappointments with drugs or alcohol, leaving his children and wife to fend for themselves.  It could be a good friend who betrays that friendship with deception and lies.  It could be a mentor who falls to temptation, either destroying the lives he’s dedicating to help grown strong or turning away from them at a critical moment in their lives, leaving them alone and afraid.  It could be a school teacher or a Bible study teacher.  How do you think they will feel about men in general when the very man who God placed in their lives to love and protect them causes them hurt and pain? 

  Truths turn to lies.  Laughter turns to tears.  Hope turns to despair. Trust turns to disappointment and distance.  Friendships are disrupted and not sought out again.  Families destroyed.  Strong futures lay ruin.  What happened?  How did temptation and pride override common sense and a strong moral system and lay waste the promises of a strong and fruitful life?  Lust.  Greed.  Pride.  Addictions.  Lasciviousness. 

  “Never happen to me,” you say?  What did they say not long ago?  “Not me” . . . “I would never” . . . so easy to say, and an open invitation for the enemy of our soul to take the challenge to find that weakness and chip away at it. 

  It is never a sudden decision, usually a little give and take over a period of time.  Things that were once so black and white become less definitive.  Priorities change.  Family and friends loose importance.  Everyone else in their world becomes collateral damage. 

  Can the fallen be restored?  Of course, if they have the desire.  Restoration can only come through a humble heart and a deep relationship through Jesus.  All other attempts are just vanities – a vapor in the wind – without substance. 

  The real question is, can they restore all those whose lives were damaged and changed because of the fall.  Can trust ever be completely returned to the hearts of all who know them?  I don’t think so.  Those lives have blown away like sand in the wind – you may be able to collect some of them back, maybe even most of them – but so many will be lost forever to the hurt that can only be healed through Jesus. 

  Dear Lord, let me always remember that my words and actions are being watched by far more people than I could ever imagine.  Help me to understand that if I should ever fall, I would be responsible for every person that may stray from you because of my actions.  Help me to always remain humble.  In Your Precious Name.  Amen.

 

Written 2-23-09

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,