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Voices in My Head

15 Jan

Voices

“There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification.” I Corinthians 14:10

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From as far back as I can remember, I knew things.  Things I had no way of knowing, I knew.  Little things and big things; things near and things very far away . . . I just knew.  I knew when people were hurt, I knew my father was going to die months before he did.  I knew my 2 year old nephew was going to die soon, the first time I met him.  I knew where lost things would be found, states away.  How did I know . . . the voice told me.

My mother felt that the voice I heard was my father, guiding me from the grave.  She was into the occult and encouraged me to try to communicate with him.  She had me try astral writing to see if I could ask questions and receive answers.  When she wasn’t happy with the results (couldn’t say for sure that it was my father) so she bought an Ouija Board, so that she and I could both ask the “spirit” questions.  I wish I had never seen that Board.  That Board is pure evil.

After trying to communicate with my father the voice changed and multiplied.  The voices told me that I had no value, that I should hurt myself, that life wasn’t worth living.  I struggled with depression and very low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts; hiding away rather than interfacing with people.  It was a very dark time in my life.

Although my father’s side of the family was very strong in their faith, I rarely saw them.  My father and mother were far from Christianity.  I did not understand about salvation and didn’t commit my life to God until I was 38 years old, although I prayed often and had a strong belief in Him.

During an evangelical event, a few years later, I was helping tape the event series for those attending.  No matter how hard I tried to focus in on what was being shared, I just couldn’t grasp what the evangelist was saying.  The evangelist saw me struggling, walked up to me, placed a hand over each of my ears and shouted “Voices stop, in the name of Jesus.”  That was the last time I heard those voices; I’m so grateful.

After that day only one voice has spoken to me, the voice of my Lord.  I hear Him clearly, without distraction.  I believe that when a child is gifted with a prophetic ministry, Satan will do everything he can to destroy it.  If Satan can’t confuse the voices, he will do his best to destroy the person, any way he can, so the prophetic can’t follow the call God has placed on their lives.

Recently a prayer request came to me for a young boy with voices in his head; tormenting him.  When I asked questions of the mom she said that he always “knew things.”  Another young man is being attacked with voices and depression.  This young man has worked in the prophetic realm from his early childhood.  Satan tries to pervert what God has blessed us with.

Guard your mind, Saints.  Don’t allow yourselves to listen to, see or participate in any activity that would allow the enemy to find an entry point into your mind.  If you see someone struggling, get into deep prayer and help them to repent of whatever activity allowed for the entry.  Keep our children and youth in prayer, they walk in a world filled with evil and temptation.

Lord, please keep my mind strong and unwavering.  Keep me from areas where no Christian should trespass.  Help me to be a gatekeeper for our tender children.

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“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer (Psalm 19:14 KJV).”

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THE WASHERWOMAN IN THE PALACE OF THE KING

12 Jan

Washer Woman

“And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”  Romans 5:5

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It was a time of rejoicing – the King has returned and all had come together to celebrate.  The house was trimmed in Scarlet and Blue and most glorious Purples.  The Golden goblet was set, preparing for the finest Wine.

As the sky drew dim the people came – in beautiful raiment.  Their joy shown clearly – their love so pure.  In beautiful gowns the women danced – jewels sparkled all about – and from a distance the washerwoman watched.

She wondered how it felt to be so beautiful.  She wondered what it was like to feel such joy.  And as she watched each beautiful woman dance with the King, she wondered what it was like to feel such love.

Back she stepped, so as not to be seen, how could she chance to be seen in her rags and covering scarf.  Yet she dared to desire to belong.

She cherished the moments she cleaned for the King.  Did He know she prayed as she cleansed His garments?  Did He know that she treasured the brief moments when they shared a word?

So back she stepped, into the shadows – swaying with the music, drinking in the joy that danced around the room.  Careful, oh so careful, so not to be seen, she raised her hand up to the missing hand, and placed her arm around the missing waist as she moved slowly around the shadows.

Then a breeze passed by and a tender word touched her ear.  Opening her eyes she saw her King before her, at the edge of the shadows.  Bowing down she humbly and quietly spoke, “Yes, My King, your servant waits.”

Speaking not He reached down, taking her rough red hand in His.  Gently He pulled her up, placing His arm around her ragged dress and together they danced from the shadows to the light.

As the music stopped He kissed her hand and thanked her for her love and the beauty she presented every day.  And at that moment she knew herself what it was like to feel beautiful, what it was like to feel joy, and how wonderful it felt to be loved.

For SHE was the washerwoman in the Palace of the KING!

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TOWERS

5 Jan

 Towers

“Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”    Matthew 28:20 KJV

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My life took a hard turn in my 60th year.  The job I’d had for 18 years ended and the job I found was completely across the state – a 4 hour drive time to be exact.

My new job was managing an information services division at a college that is dedicated to distance learning.  Part of the job included managing the maintenance of the many towers scattered within the 24,000 square miles the college serviced.

I will tell you truthfully, I’ve never paid much attention to towers before.  I’d see the red light flash off in the distance and glance quickly away.  I would recognize one along a road, but never paid it much mind.  I didn’t realize the critical element it was in reaching people and giving the opportunity to learn in remote regions.  Now I see the lifeline of communication towers bring to desolate areas – kind of like Jesus!

Jesus’ love shines forth as a beacon to the unloved and the unlovable.  Jesus walks with us every day, speaking to us, encouraging us, guiding our way – yet most of the time we don’t even recognize Him; we pass Him by unnoticed.

My God, please keep me ever aware of my surroundings and what it is that You want me to do with that awareness.  Please let me always hear Your voice and heed Your call.  Let me recognize the lifeline of hope and healing you bring to desolate areas.  Guide my steps Lord, even if they stop at the bottom of a giant tower.

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No One Knows

26 Dec

18 Wheeler

But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.     Mark 13:32 (KJV)

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I drive between the small town I live in and Phoenix, AZ every week.  Although the trips can make me very weary, usually it is quite uneventful and often gives me time of insight and inspiration.

5 o’clock came, end of day, and I started packing my car, ready to head back up the mountain toward home.  I was about to place a box of files in the back seat of my car, but for a flash of a second I saw them flying around in the sky.  I’ve learned to trust these flashes and with a smile I said, “Okay Lord” and put them securely in the trunk, wedged tight.

Traffic through the city was lighter than usual, for that I was grateful.  I had my glass of Iced Tea (to keep me awake) and my Christian Music (to keep me singing and bouncing), I was on a mission to get back to the family.

The main highway has been under construction for years and always poses a challenge for impatient drivers.  I set my speed with my cruise control and tried not to let anything distract me.  About an hour and a half into my trip I was in the heavy climbing area, where the road winds back and forth.  Trucks are to follow the signs that are posted in that area and remain in the right lane only; at least that’s what I thought.

The road curved to the left ahead of me and as I cleared the curve there was a semi-truck over half way into the left lane, directly in front of me, it was attempting to pass a slower truck in the right lane.  I hit my brakes and held the steering wheel as firmly as I could.  The brakes hopped, skipped and sang.  I went from 70 mph to 33 mph in . . . well . . . I was a little too preoccupied to notice, but I can tell you it was very few seconds.  It was the closest I have come to hitting anything; inches.  I don’t think the semi-truck ever saw me.

As soon as I was safely back in the lane of travel I heard the words, “No one knows the day or the hour.”  It quickened my spirit and pulled at my heart.  Only the hand of God kept me from hitting that truck – it wasn’t my day, it wasn’t my hour.

“Yes, Lord.”  Was I ready?   The faces of my family ran through my mind – I had almost left them behind that day.  What would have happened to them?  Had I finished the call that God had place before me?  WAS I READY??

God, nudge me.  Never let me tarry on items you’ve called me to complete.  Give me the strength and Wisdom to complete every task – leave nothing unfinished.  Teach me what is most important in Your eyes, that all will be complete.

Are you ready?

By Linda J. Humes

Written 5-31-2009

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Eve, Did You Know??

8 Dec

Adam & Eve

“For my words are wise, and my thoughts are filled with insight.”  Psalm 49:3  (NLT)

 The Garden of Eden holds a critical lesson about the frailty of man.  How easily we can be fooled by clever words that play on our earthly desires.  We can be so caught up in receiving those “special wants” that we don’t ask about the lingering after effects.

Extremely gifted people are placed in marketing departments for every major company.  If they can get people to touch their product, whatever it may be, and convince them that their product will dramatically change lives, then they’ve done their job and a product is sold.

How many cars have been purchased for the “sex appeal” marketing and later repossessed because of high car payments, high insurance costs and expensive repairs?  How many expensive jewelry purchases have put difficult financial burdens on young families because marketing says that a diamond ring or necklace is the only way to prove your love to your spouse?  How many young lives have fallen ruin because of movies and commercials showing that “Cool” people drink, smoke, party and are sexually active?

Satan tempted a “perfect” life in a “perfect” world and turned the entire future of man upside down.  Adam and Eve did not understand temptation; they did not understand evil; they did not understand that life could be anything different than it was.  They did understand that there was a rule and it was a very explicit and critical rule:  They were not to eat from the tree.

In Adam’s and Eve’s minds the gain must have appeared to far out-number the potential loss; how bad could the consequence possibly be in a “perfect” world?  We all know that the consequence was the exposure of imperfection, pain, fear, loss of relationship and death.  I wonder whether they would have been as willing to disobey if they truly had understood the consequence.

Many times I have wished that I could have kept my children completely protected from the evils of this world.  I raised them in a Christian school for many years, until it closed.  The harsh reality of life struck each of them in a different way when they started secular schooling and met their first bully.  They were shocked by the negative interactions of student to student and teacher to student.  Had I set them at a disadvantage by protecting their environment?  Would they have had better “worldly” coping skills if they had been exposed to non-Christian behavior in their formative years?  I can only guess and wonder and pray wisdom over my now grown children; each one walking a difficult journey in their lives right now.

Resisting those temptations, bullies and everyday challenges takes wisdom.  Wisdom sets us in right-standing with the Word of God and gives us the direction and skills to fight.  How do we receive wisdom, where does it lie?  It is in Jesus Himself (1 Corinthians 1:30); it is from God, given as a gift (Exodus 31:3); it is shouted in the streets and the public squares by those who have walked the journeys and chosen to encourage and warn others (Proverbs 1:20).  Wisdom is within each of us, if we ask for it; if we will humble ourselves and recognize our frailties; if we will desire not to fall into temptation (James 1:5).

God, please give me the wisdom to teach and guide Your children back to You.  Help me to help them to understand that temptation comes at the hands of skilled marketers, including Satan himself.  Help me to teach them to call out to You for wisdom – for the small things and for the mountains that stand in their path.  Please Lord, help me to remain humble as I ask again for the wisdom I need to continue this journey.

By Linda J. Humes

Written 8-29-2011

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Forsaken

11 Nov

  Jesus with Cross - the Passion

And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”–which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Mark 15:34 (NIV)

Easter has always been a hard day for me.  I love the music.  I love the spring clothing.  I love the new growth and flowers in bloom.  I love the promise of God that comes with the resurrection.  But, I can’t even think on the crucifixion and what it meant.

When I think about Jesus, and all He did during the 3 years of recorded ministry, hanging on a cross, ripped, bleeding, nailed; I cry.  When I recognize that the torture they put Him through was a sacrifice for my sins and a door to my eternal life; I cry.  How could this perfect man be so destroyed by a sin-filled people, didn’t they understand who He was?  He performed miracles before them and taught them the message of love and forgiveness.  How could they not know?

I wonder what God was feeling at the moment the soldiers stood the cross in place, the tortured body of His Son nailed to the front.  He had a plan, and His Son was the critical element of that plan, but He was also a father.

One of my children made a very poor decision and was picked up by the police department.  He was in the back of the squad car calling “Mom, Mom, Mom . . . !”  I wasn’t allowed to go near the car or speak to him.  Those words still echo in my head and mind and I get overwhelmed with emotion, knowing that my child needed me and the comfort of my words, but that there was nothing I could do.  Is that how God felt when Jesus cried out “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?”  In the late hours of a dark night do they continue to haunt Him like my child’s words continue to haunt me?  Or was the outcome so powerfully wonderful that the echoes are diminished with love?

God, please forgive me for my portion of the plan that Your Son endured for me.  Hold me ever accountable to the call You placed on my life before the world was formed, and later when you formed me in my mother’s womb.  Let me always be diligent in praising You and sharing who You are to a world filled with darkness.

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Feel the Anointing?

10 Nov

Anointed Blanket

“But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.”  1 John 2:27

Have you ever walked into a church and felt the anointing? Have you listened to a song and felt the presence of God flowing over you? Has someone laid hands on your shoulder as you were deep in prayer and felt the power of God shoot straight through you like a charge of electricity? Have you reached out to caress an old worn Bible and felt a tenderness in your hand? Have you ever placed a prayer cloth over your head or around your shoulder and felt a calm pass through you? We all have “God Moments” when there is no doubt about His presence. But, have you ever felt the anointing in the little things?

I’ve been told that people can tell when others are praying for them, it’s the anointing crossing the distances we cannot. The anointing can go into the battlefield with a soldier, into a prison cell, into a hospital room or into a classroom with the person in prayer sits in an office or bedroom miles or countries away.

Recently someone gave me a small knitted blanket with a bag of donations, one I suspect was knitted for a baby boy (it’s blue!). When I touched it I could feel the anointing of loving prayer, likely spoken as each row was knitted. I keep it in my travel bag, what comfort and peace it brings, no matter where I am.

I wonder if we leave that same anointed feeling as we walk through our daily lives. Does the accident victim feel the comfort of the Holy Spirit as we whisper a prayer in passing? Does the stranded motorist feel the angels of protection, placed in prayer, as help is summoned. Does a hurting person feel the hug of God as we fold them in our arms and pray? Does the inmate feel “something” as they open the letters of encouragement mailed off with a seal of prayer? How much do our prayers make a difference?

I can only give as much anointed prayer as I have worked to receive through personal time with God. I can only share the anointing I have been filled with through hours of prayer. How much do I want to give? How much do I want to make a difference? Lord, use ALL of me.

Lord, God, let me never forget that the comfort I can share may be the only moment of peace in a person’s week, month or year. Let me be like that small blue blanket, stitched with love, that still feels like and smells like the anointing of God. Draw me continually into prayer. Amen.

By Linda J. Humes

Written 6-2-2010

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Little Foxes

27 Oct

fox and vine

Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.   – Song of Solomon 2:15

This year has been a year of weather extremes, with winter storms stronger and longer than ever before.  One night a gentle soft snow came down without the usual winds.  The next morning we woke to a beautiful thick blanket of snow, still on the tree branches and on the tops of the bushes.  I checked on my chicken/duck flock and saw the most unusual thing.

When we built our coop and run yard we put bird netting over the yard to keep the ravens out and the small flying banty chicks in.  The netting is a very thin plastic thread with wide meshing; the type you throw over fruit trees to keep the birds off.  There in the run was the mesh, stretched to the ground, under a foot and a half of snow, blocking the birds inside the coop house.  How could that possibly be??

During the night the gentle soft flakes gathered on the fine mesh, building thicker and thicker as the hours went by, until it pulled the mesh all the way to the ground.  A fast or wet snow would have gone right through the mesh, not sticking.  Only a small, soft, dry snow would lie on top of the thin mesh.

It reminded me of the small temptations and sins that come in.  Just little things like a movie with a “little” bit of poor language, a song with a “little” bit of negative talk, a “little” white lie, a book with a “few” inappropriate chapters, a day with a “little” gossip or a “little” negative conversations; a week without prayer or Bible study.  It is the “little foxes” that spoil the vine, coming and taking just a “little” of the crop each day, ruining the vines and the roots until the entire plant is destroyed.

We don’t even see the foxes stealing in until the vines begin to die.  We don’t realize how much of our life is tainted and our fruit spoiled with the “little” indiscretions in our walk.  Little foxes, little sins, growing to life changing events; sneaking in.

God, let me always be aware of those “little” things that sneak into my life, tainting my walk and my Christian character.  Help me walk past all that tempts my choices.  May I always draw close to Your ways.

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CRUTCH

15 Sep

Crutch2

Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: Ephesians 6:6-7 (KJV)

We live in a rural community, a small town with lots of space.  In the area I live, all the homes are on 1-acre lots, or larger.  It isn’t unusual to see horses and goats wandering in yards – keeping the vegetation under control.  It’s a very comforting sight.  Roosters announce the sun, and passing car headlights in the middle of the night.  Even the occasional donkey bray, louder that I ever expected, piercing the morning quiet, is comforting.  Always makes me chuckle.

We’ve had several years of drought and the lots aren’t scattered with wild flowers, as in years past, but after a monsoon rain, the valley turns immediately green and delightful.  Times come when people are unable to care for animals, for health or financial reasons.  You often see animals for sale or given away to good homes.  Lots overgrow and become fire hazards when the growth becomes dry.  Many people commute a long distance to find a good job and their lots suffer.

Not long ago our lot was to the point where we had to do something.  Even with three healthy boys in the house, between work, school, church and after-school activities, no one had time.  One day I decided enough was enough and created a parental ordinance – all activities were hereby cancelled until the weeds were mowed.

Out came the mower and about 1/16th of an acre later, the wheel busted right off.  Good Grief!  The wheel was a special order, replaced the year before, and just not what we needed to replace right now.  Grumble, Grumble, Grumble!  Been there?

Later in the day I needed to head into town.  Along a side street I noticed an empty motorized wheelchair.  I slowed down to be sure the owner hadn’t fallen out.  There he was, on a metal crutch, legs painfully misshaped, weed-eating the front of his lot.  Oh, my goodness.

Weeds and dust flew around him, but his smile never diminished.  You see, against all odds, and doctor’s reports, he could still do something.  He could get out of the wheelchair he had been sentenced to and make his overgrown lot look beautiful.  No goat, no horse – just a hobbled man on a crutch with a weed-eater.

So many times I have seen my ministry dreams and visions put on hold and I think – I’m getting old, how can I ever see this come to pass.  I read my Bible and pray and wonder, with a shadowing of doubt, whether the ministry that God has burning inside of me will ever get past pen and paper and into reality.  I sit in my self-imposed “wheelchair” and cry out for solutions when God is telling me to get out on shaky legs and lean on the “crutch” of the dream that He’s given me and make something beautiful happen; even if I can only go forward a few feet at a time – like my weed-eating friend.

How many of us sit in “wheelchairs” of doubt, fear, shame, and “I can’ts,” never allowing God to use the gifts He’s birthed inside of us.  God, stop the wheels on the chair I rest in and push me forward toward the goals You have placed in front of me.  Encourage me to take the small steps, every day, toward the finish line that grows nearer with every moment.  Prove to me “I Can.”

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PEARL OF GREAT PRICE

2 Sep

 Chicken Coop Eggs

  

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking

goodly pearls:  Who, when he had found one pearl of great price,

went and sold all that he had, and bought it”  Matthew 13:45-46

All my life I’ve wanted a coop full of chickens, and at age 54, they finally arrived!  My love for these wonderful birds began during times I spent at my grandmother’s home – the only place I felt true peace and acceptance as a child.  Her love of chickens was passed on to me.  I can sit and watch my crowd of noisy, smelly, feathered critters and remember a simpler time – and a woman that was my model of love.

I think my favorite time with them is when I put them to bed at night.  I usually end up chasing them around the yard several times before they all make it into the hen house.  I latch their little door and go inside to change their water and give them scratch and crumbles.  They’re so funny.  They squawk and crow and carry on.  They fight over nests and positions on the roosting bar.  You’ve never seen such a fuss – every night like the first time – what a circus.

Then I collect the eggs that have been carefully placed throughout the day.  Eggs as small as a ping-pong ball and others so large it’s hard to close them into the egg cartons.  If you clean their pen, or bring in a new tenant, the egg-laying stops for a few days – until they recover from the change.  They really are a lot like us.

I sat and studied one of the tiny Banty eggs the other night.  It was small, perfectly shaped, evenly milky-tan, and laid at a price.  God created them to make a daily sacrifice of themselves – to bring new life, or to sustain an existing one.  A pearl of great price, given unselfishly, every day.

God has also given me a pearl – a gift of His Word – to bring new life (new souls born again) or to sustain one that is in need of immediate nourishment (a word of prayer, encouragement, or exhortation).  My gift is replenished every day, every minute, but do I always give it – like the chicken – without prodding or “right” circumstances?

Jesus, always give me the desire to unselfishly share Your Word, Your touch, Your smile, Your love, whenever You show me the need – without hesitation.  My joy would be to always be a “Pearl of Great Price.”

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