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A PERFECT HEART

12 Nov

 Hand & Heart

And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.  It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.    Luke 15:31-32 KJV

—-

Where is my heart, Lord,

The heart You can see.

Has it wandered much too far,

From where it ought to be?

—-

I rest in Your presence

And wonder where I am.

Have I gone too far?

Have I given up too soon?

You have set a path for me,

Charted by Grace,

Out of bondage,

Through the Wilderness,

Into the Promised Land.

—-

How often do I cast a glance

At the familiar security of bondage?

My memories, sweetened with time,

Draw me back across the Wilderness

That I have already overcome.

My promise of tomorrow,

Looses distance,

By my own temptations.

—-

Yet, at the end of my daily journey,

As I cry out,

You rest with me.

Words of encouragement urge me forward,

The reality of temptation, once again,

Becomes clear.

 —-

There is no anger in your voice,

There is no disappointment,

Only tears of joy,

Fatherly pride,

As I step, once again,

Toward the promise.

—-

Callous my heart, Lord,

To sweetened memories,

To familiarity.

—-

Tender my hear, Lord, toward You.

Let me see Your path with certainty.

Harness my mind and confusion.

Touch the greatest depths of my soul,

That when we meet again,

In the cool of the day,

That I might hear You,

With a perfect heart.

—-

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Forsaken

11 Nov

  Jesus with Cross - the Passion

And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”–which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Mark 15:34 (NIV)

Easter has always been a hard day for me.  I love the music.  I love the spring clothing.  I love the new growth and flowers in bloom.  I love the promise of God that comes with the resurrection.  But, I can’t even think on the crucifixion and what it meant.

When I think about Jesus, and all He did during the 3 years of recorded ministry, hanging on a cross, ripped, bleeding, nailed; I cry.  When I recognize that the torture they put Him through was a sacrifice for my sins and a door to my eternal life; I cry.  How could this perfect man be so destroyed by a sin-filled people, didn’t they understand who He was?  He performed miracles before them and taught them the message of love and forgiveness.  How could they not know?

I wonder what God was feeling at the moment the soldiers stood the cross in place, the tortured body of His Son nailed to the front.  He had a plan, and His Son was the critical element of that plan, but He was also a father.

One of my children made a very poor decision and was picked up by the police department.  He was in the back of the squad car calling “Mom, Mom, Mom . . . !”  I wasn’t allowed to go near the car or speak to him.  Those words still echo in my head and mind and I get overwhelmed with emotion, knowing that my child needed me and the comfort of my words, but that there was nothing I could do.  Is that how God felt when Jesus cried out “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?”  In the late hours of a dark night do they continue to haunt Him like my child’s words continue to haunt me?  Or was the outcome so powerfully wonderful that the echoes are diminished with love?

God, please forgive me for my portion of the plan that Your Son endured for me.  Hold me ever accountable to the call You placed on my life before the world was formed, and later when you formed me in my mother’s womb.  Let me always be diligent in praising You and sharing who You are to a world filled with darkness.

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Feel the Anointing?

10 Nov

Anointed Blanket

“But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.”  1 John 2:27

Have you ever walked into a church and felt the anointing? Have you listened to a song and felt the presence of God flowing over you? Has someone laid hands on your shoulder as you were deep in prayer and felt the power of God shoot straight through you like a charge of electricity? Have you reached out to caress an old worn Bible and felt a tenderness in your hand? Have you ever placed a prayer cloth over your head or around your shoulder and felt a calm pass through you? We all have “God Moments” when there is no doubt about His presence. But, have you ever felt the anointing in the little things?

I’ve been told that people can tell when others are praying for them, it’s the anointing crossing the distances we cannot. The anointing can go into the battlefield with a soldier, into a prison cell, into a hospital room or into a classroom with the person in prayer sits in an office or bedroom miles or countries away.

Recently someone gave me a small knitted blanket with a bag of donations, one I suspect was knitted for a baby boy (it’s blue!). When I touched it I could feel the anointing of loving prayer, likely spoken as each row was knitted. I keep it in my travel bag, what comfort and peace it brings, no matter where I am.

I wonder if we leave that same anointed feeling as we walk through our daily lives. Does the accident victim feel the comfort of the Holy Spirit as we whisper a prayer in passing? Does the stranded motorist feel the angels of protection, placed in prayer, as help is summoned. Does a hurting person feel the hug of God as we fold them in our arms and pray? Does the inmate feel “something” as they open the letters of encouragement mailed off with a seal of prayer? How much do our prayers make a difference?

I can only give as much anointed prayer as I have worked to receive through personal time with God. I can only share the anointing I have been filled with through hours of prayer. How much do I want to give? How much do I want to make a difference? Lord, use ALL of me.

Lord, God, let me never forget that the comfort I can share may be the only moment of peace in a person’s week, month or year. Let me be like that small blue blanket, stitched with love, that still feels like and smells like the anointing of God. Draw me continually into prayer. Amen.

By Linda J. Humes

Written 6-2-2010

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A Pebble in My Shoe

29 Oct

Pebble & Shoe

“Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin?“ Proverbs 20:9

—–

There’s a pebble in my shoe,

One of those small odd shaped ones,

That often fall securely to the side,

Only rubbing a little.

 —–

Not a big pebble,

Yet not too small.

 —–

I know it’s there,

I know it doesn’t belong,

But it isn’t so large that I need to stop,

To empty it out.

In fact, if I toss my foot just so,

I hardly know it’s there.

 —–

Once in a while,

It jumps right out of it’s crease,

And settles beneath my heel,

Zapping me back to the realization,

That it really doesn’t belong.

—–

Then I shake my foot again,

And send it off,

To hide in a crease.

—–

I could shake it out,

But I’ve grown accustomed to its presence,

It’s sort of a game,

How far can I walk without getting zapped.

And it’s like having a deep secret,

That no one else knows.

—–

Sometimes I talk to it,

It’s like an old friend,

Then it bruises a toe,

And becomes an agitation.

 —–

Soon I’ll toss it out,

I can do it any time I want.

I think.

—–

It won’t matter if I toss it out,

Or if it stays,

It doesn’t affect me that much,

At least not than anyone else would notice.

Well, except for those who see me limp,

Or occasionally jump.

But otherwise, no one can tell.

 —–

I have a pebble in my shoe,

I call it sin.

—–

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THE WEDDING SUPPER

28 Oct

 Wedding Supper

And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the

seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me,

saying, Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb’s wife.

Revelation 21:9 KJV

It is the Wedding Supper of the Lamb,

The places are set,

Awaiting the arrival of the guests.

 —–

The tables are spread with linens of pure white,

Carefully embroidered with purples and reds,

Royalty and Sacrifice.

 —–

The goblets of gold caress only the finest wine,

The plates are cut crystal,

Reflecting the Glory of God.

 —–

Inside her chamber awaits the Bride,

Preparing     –     Expecting     –     Envisioning.

She rests with the tender petals of flowers,

Gathered from the fields,

By loving hands,

Sorting     –     Choosing     –     Separating,

Only the best for the Lamb.

 —–

Fragrant oils saturate the bed chamber,

Spilling into the hallway,

Floating daintily into the room of the feast,

To anoint the guests,

Drawing on intimacy,

With each other,

With God.

—–

Soon the feast will begin,

The guests will arrive,

The vows will be made,

True commitment forever.

—–

And at the moment of peace,

All will be one,

And one will be all.

—–

It is the Marriage Supper of the Bride.

—–

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Little Foxes

27 Oct

fox and vine

Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.   – Song of Solomon 2:15

This year has been a year of weather extremes, with winter storms stronger and longer than ever before.  One night a gentle soft snow came down without the usual winds.  The next morning we woke to a beautiful thick blanket of snow, still on the tree branches and on the tops of the bushes.  I checked on my chicken/duck flock and saw the most unusual thing.

When we built our coop and run yard we put bird netting over the yard to keep the ravens out and the small flying banty chicks in.  The netting is a very thin plastic thread with wide meshing; the type you throw over fruit trees to keep the birds off.  There in the run was the mesh, stretched to the ground, under a foot and a half of snow, blocking the birds inside the coop house.  How could that possibly be??

During the night the gentle soft flakes gathered on the fine mesh, building thicker and thicker as the hours went by, until it pulled the mesh all the way to the ground.  A fast or wet snow would have gone right through the mesh, not sticking.  Only a small, soft, dry snow would lie on top of the thin mesh.

It reminded me of the small temptations and sins that come in.  Just little things like a movie with a “little” bit of poor language, a song with a “little” bit of negative talk, a “little” white lie, a book with a “few” inappropriate chapters, a day with a “little” gossip or a “little” negative conversations; a week without prayer or Bible study.  It is the “little foxes” that spoil the vine, coming and taking just a “little” of the crop each day, ruining the vines and the roots until the entire plant is destroyed.

We don’t even see the foxes stealing in until the vines begin to die.  We don’t realize how much of our life is tainted and our fruit spoiled with the “little” indiscretions in our walk.  Little foxes, little sins, growing to life changing events; sneaking in.

God, let me always be aware of those “little” things that sneak into my life, tainting my walk and my Christian character.  Help me walk past all that tempts my choices.  May I always draw close to Your ways.

—-

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EDEN

8 Oct

Cat in sink

“The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.”  Isaiah 50:4

It’s late.  Everyone is finally off to their own rooms, preparing to sleep; some are already successful.  I head for my quiet spot, the master bathroom.  It’s very small, built for usefulness, not flair.  With the door closed, as it will (which is almost), all the lights on and the exhaust fan rattling out the household noises that remain, it is my only refuge.  There I read and write and pray and listen for God.

Before too long a paw reaches under the door and pulls it open enough for one (or more) of my cats to come in.  At first they are content to lap at the water dripping from the faucet, soon curling up in the oval shaped sink, lightly dozing.  Most of the time they wait patiently for me to finish, but on occasion they will try tenaciously to get onto my lap for hugging and petting, sending books and Bibles, pens and paper flying.  Giving in is the best defense, fighting back by trying to chase them off creates a greater distraction than taking a few minutes to love on them.  They so desperately want to please, having no idea that they are in the least bit annoying.  Soon I set them back down, retrieve my papers and books and go back to praying and listening – and hoping once again to be anointed and used by God.

There are times when I’ve wished I could remain there for days at a time, but responsibility calls.  I have spent many wonderful hours there, in communion, not wanting to leave.  Fatigue and worry escape me there – as does time, sometimes putting my night’s sleep at risk.

It’s just a bathroom, with its own white noise and its own bright light, generally shared with several purring cats, waiting contently in the sink – but to me it becomes Eden.  A place where I go to seek the face of God and talk with Him in the cool of the evening.  It’s there that I remember to thank God for the little things that He does to show me His love.

I thank Him, that even in the inner city, without a natural setting to run to, I have a bathroom, big enough to hold one small bookcase and lots of pens and paper.  I thank Him that I have cats who remind me to always take time for a hug and a kind word.  And I thank Him for the understanding that no matter where I am, God will be there to meet me.

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FOOTSTEPS

7 Oct

 Footsteps

What manner of Saint must I be,

To follow in the footsteps of Christ.

What sort of war must I wage,

What must I give for the price.

 —-

Must I walk in the path of wealth,

giving my treasure to find my way.

Must I earn every possible dime,

Letting riches pave my way.

 —-

Must I walk in the wisdom I’ve gained,

Sharing my thoughts and beliefs with all men.

To continue to search, to continue to learn,

To follow the path of the pen.

 —-

Or is it the path of helps,

Feed the poor and encourage the lost.

Will this bring the angels, to show me the way,

Will I walk with the Heavenly hosts.

 —-

Is it in learning Your Word and Your ways,

That Your steps will be revealed.

By quoting a verse, or by singing a Psalm,

Is this the way that’s real?

 —-

Tell me Lord.  What manner of Saint must I be?

 —-

“These are all good,” spoke the Lord’s tender voice,

“And will help you to understand Me.”

“But, the truth is so simple, so easy to follow,

“It’s something that all Saints can be.”

 —-

“Just step in My footsteps, with the foot of a child,

Trusting, open and free.”

“Step where they lead you, without weighing the odds,

At the last step you’ll truly find Me.”

—-

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Rainbow

6 Oct

Rainbow

” And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.”  Genesis 9:16

Isn’t it wonderful when God’s Promise graces the sky in beautiful colors, standing proud before angry clouds. Wonderful.

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OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

18 Sep

baby & adult hand

Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger. Psalm 8:2

The other day I took my 6-year-old son to the mall for “one-on-one” Mom-Son time.  We saw a short 3-D movie, “T-REX”, the one where the dinosaur drools right in your lap as he eyes you for a potential lunch item.  After the movie we ate lunch (30 restaurants to choose from and he goes for Burger King  –  AGAIN!) and talked a while, then we decided to do a sightseeing lap around the mall.

About 2 months ago I started working Saturday mornings, the day I usually spend with the boys.  We always went for breakfast (all you could eat buffets!) and then went to the park or ran errands around the valley.  When my schedule changed I went to the boy’s school and asked the principal about taking each boy out on rotating Fridays.  She gave me her approval as well as her blessing; Mom-Son Friday came to pass.

Every Friday at noon I pick one of the boys up.  We talk, eat and watch a movie (of the boy’s choice); not necessarily in that order.  By 4:00 PM we’re on the way back to pick-up the other two and head home.  This particular day was Jon’s day.

As Jon and I walked around he chose the shops he wanted to tour through.  Being 6 he chose only the brightest and most colorful shops.  No clothing  –  mostly shops with toys, hanging objects, shelf decorations and rocks.  One of the shops we went into seemed innocent from the front.  There were rock slab wind-chimes, polished stone necklaces, cut stone book-ends, and similar items throughout.  Jon was mesmerized by the color and shine.

As we neared the back of the store we saw voodoo and witch-doctor paraphernalia on the floor and walls.  I tried to steer Jon clear of the items, but he nearly ran into a chair with a demon head carved into the seat back.

Jon stopped immediately, put his little fists on his hips (as only a 6 year old can do) and stated quite clearly, “Well, these people don’t know Jesus.”  After which he quickly dismissed himself from the store.

Trying to help lift his spirits, I started searching for signs of Jesus in every store we entered.  Finally, as we reached the end of the mall, I spotted a shelf with porcelain figurines of Jesus, Mary, the nativity, the crucifix and various other Christian themes.

“There, Jon,” I said.  “There’s Jesus.”

For a moment a smile formed on his face, which was quickly dismissed and replaced by round determined eyes and firmly set fists.

“Well,” he said.  “I just want to know why Jesus is there  –  and women with no clothes are right there!”  I followed his small pointing finger to the shelf immediately below.  There on the shelf were porcelain nudes, three times the size of the Christian figurines.

“I’m just going to go get Joseph (our youth pastor) and we’re going to come back here and pray.”  At that point he took is offended little self out of the store and decided that he had seen enough of the mall.

So there I was, at 49, looking so hard to find Jesus that I allowed myself to overlook the offense, the insult, of placing Him among the very decadence He came to this world to overcome.  In that very store were dragons and Buddas, crystals and prayer beads, nudes and seductive paintings.  How many times do I close my eyes to the things that offend me?  How many times have I felt it was the way of the world and there was nothing I could do?

Out of the mouth of a babe came the words that had been spoken into him.  At 6 years old he was ready to take a stand against the things he knew were wrong, and he was ready to find someone to stand with him in prayer.

Thank you, Jesus, for babies who remind us how to be the best we can be.

By Linda J. Humes
Written 2-24-1999

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